Be - Do - Have

Getting the balance right

2010-08-04T22:24:00.000+10:00

Those of you who know me will know that I am generally an all or nothing kind of girl - I am either committed to something 100% or can't be bothered as it is all just too hard. I am starting to learn that life doesn't have to be this way - I can take the middle road on occasions and nothing bad will happen to me.

My exercise of late has not been as good as was a few months ago. I think this is mainly due to the cold weather because I am a big wus and don't like being cold so it became easier for me not to exercise rather than exercise in the cold. Unfortunately, once you are out of the habit of exercising, it is harder to get back into it. But, we are working on it and while we don't manage to walk every single day, we do walk more days of the week than not. At one point I was almost obssesed with having to do 10,000 steps each day - so much so I would run up and down the passage trying to make my steps for that day. Now I have realised that some days it just isn't going to happen - and, it isn't the end of the world if it doesn't. Sometimes life gets in the way of exercise and that is just how it is, and, if I don't make 10,000 steps today, the sun will still come up tomorrow (unless we are having really cr*ppy weather in which case it will be lighter than if it was night time !).

I have not been in the right head space to really concentrate on losing these last bloody 7-8kgs - maybe I am meant to be the weight that I am because I have found it relatively easy to maintain this weight since the middle of June. When I write it like that it seems like a long time to be dicking around and not getting serious about what I am doing but then it has been winter and everyone knows that we eat more comfort type food in winter - and maybe I am being too hard on myself. Being able to maintain my weight is what I am aiming for - if I practise a bit along the way to losing all the weight - is that such a bad thing ?

It is certainly a lot easier to watch what I am eating at my new job. We are in an industrial area with nowhere to buy food so any food I want to eat during the day I have to take with me - no vending machines close by, no servo within walking distance and I can't be bothered getting in the car and driving 5kms to the nearest shopping centre for a chocolate. So, it should be easy, shouldn't it ???? But it isn't, because I haven't been getting much work from Coles which means I am sitting at home at night, often by myself, and what is the best thing to do when you are home alone - eat, of course !!!!! I tried not having junk food in the house - that worked except that even if you eat too much of any 'good' foods, the calories still mount up. I need to work on how to deal with this issue - maybe I should be doing my paperwork or yoga or pilates - anything but eating !!!

Work is improving and today I really enjoyed my day - although I did spend nearly 4 hours on two conference calls and for some reason I was the one doing most of the talking !!!! I am not sure how that happened except that maybe seeing as I am the newest member of the team, I had the most questions but it certainly kept that 3pm slump at bay. I am really excited about the new system that we are moving to - I think it is going to make my job so much easier and free up some of my time so that I can persue more worthwhile projects - at least that is what I am hoping will happen !!!

On that note, I am off to do the washing and then get into bed - far away from the kitchen and the food - to read until Al gets home from work. I can't believe that it is Thursday already tomorrow - another week has just flown by.

Take care and go safely !

TFTD : There is a prayer that lives in the centre of your heart. If you pray it, it will change your life. How does it begin - Matthew Anderson

Surprise !

2010-07-25T16:08:00.002+10:00

A surprise birthday party for me is what I walked into when we got home from picking up some DVD’s last night ! A and K had organised another surprise party for me without me suspecting a thing – he really is amazing at being able to do this. When I look back now I can see the signs and the reason for some of the questions and decisions that were made but at the time I had no idea.

I don’t know how he knew I was going to suggest getting some DVD’s last night and he won’t say what plan B was if I didn’t suggest getting them. K got home from work and I said “What about getting some DVD’s ?” and she said “OK” so off we went. Then she was calling A to check if he wanted to see what we had chosen (Law Abiding Citizen and Dear John) and he said they were fine (not sure if that was what he really said actually !!!). Next thing, her phone rings again and she tells me that he has called to say that they really are OK – I am sure that they were just making sure we didn’t get home before everyone got there !!!!

When we drove down our street, I saw my folks car and said to K “Wonder why Gogo and Papa are here ? They don’t normally come this late in the evening.” She replied that maybe they had come to check mail. So I left it at that. Anyway, got inside and as I walked into the kitchen she said I had to close my eyes – I thought that it was just my folks there but there were other family and friends as well. It was just lovely.

They had organised all the food – nibblies, meat, salads, rolls, dessert – everything !!!!! A and I had had an amazing day together and it was just the perfect way to end the day.

I am so lucky to have the wonderful family that I have. I couldn’t have asked for a more caring, mostly unselfish daughter who is not always just totally wrapped up in herself, or a husband who is also my best friend who I wouldn’t swop for anything in the whole wide world. I love you guys both so much – I wish that I had words to tell you just how much.

Thank you both for a blast of a birthday – now the downward slippery slope to 50 is calling !!!!! Bring it on is all I can say.

First day down

2010-07-20T21:44:00.000+10:00

Well all the nerves were for nothing - I think that I am going to really enjoy working at my new job ! I guess I should have known that the nerves and the churning stomach were for nothing when they were happening but you know what it is like sometimes - even though you know something in your head doesn't make it not happen in your body !!!!!

Hopefully now (well from next week probably) - some sort of normalcy will return to my life and I can get back on track with losing these last 8-10kgs. I guess the good think is that over the past couple of weeks I have learnt what I need to do to maintain my weight - always a good thing given how many times I have lost these pesky kilos, only to gain them back at a later stage !!

Financially we are going to have to pull our belts in a bit as I have taken a drop in salary to leave Council but I think that in the long run the opportunities that I have at this company far outweigh the financial loss which is hopefully only a short term issue. If The Body and Feet Retreat continues to grow, we may even be able to look at giving up working at Coles (although we may stay on as casuals so that we continue to get the 5% discount on our groceries !!!!!)

I am feeling so much happier in myself and I am sure that I will be able to translate this into continuing with my weight loss. My plan is to take the rest of this week off and to seriously get back into a healthy lifestyle from next week. I can't say that I need to be more conscious of what I am eating because I have made conscious decisions to eat and drink what I have, but they haven't always been the best choices that I could make. My exercise has sort of fallen by the wayside because I have had lots of reasons (read excuses here !!!!) for not exercising BUT I can feel it and I know that I need to get back to exercising daily and NOT finding excuses about why I can't exercise UNLESS there is a legitimate reason e.g. getting home from work at 5.30 - seeing a client from 6-7.15 and then working from 8-12 - I don't expect myself to perform miracles and try to get 60 mins of exercising in between all of that. Instances like the above are the ONLY reason I shouldn't be exercising. (I may have to have a re-read of this next week when I forget about this decision !)

Have a great week everyone - I am happy, happy , happy and I wish you all you wish for yourself !

Every choice before you represents the universe inviting you to remember who you are and what you want.

Too long !

2010-07-17T18:30:00.000+10:00

It's been ages since I posted but I haven't felt like I have had anything worthwhile to post about so figured there was no point in posting about nothing !

The whole job issue has been on and off since about 10 June - I am just so glad that it has finally been resolved and I can start the new role on Tuesday. I was hoping to finish up at Council on Friday but they are holding me to the 7 days notice that I had to give but that is OK. It gives me one more day to go through things with the new contractor.

My weight and exercise seem to have come to a bit of a standstill at the moment but that is OK. I am maintaining my weight reasonably well - have put on 0.4 in 2 weeks but we have been out to dinner a couple of times where I have made choices that were probably not the best I could have made but were things which I really felt like eating so figure that is what maintaining is all about. I also had dessert both times we were out. I have been out to lunch a couple of times with people wanting to say goodbye - made reasonable choices but again, could maybe have made better choices. Again, I have been happy to just able to maintain at the moment because of the stress in other areas of my life. I am learning to find the balance between my weight and what I eat and how I cope with other issues in my life. I guess this is what the key is to being able to maintain - what I need to do now is get back to how I thought about 4-6 weeks ago so that I can lose these last 8-10kgs and get to the weight that I want to, and then be able to maintain at THAT weight. The I will be happy - not because all my worries will be gone, but because I will be at a weight that I am happy at. I realise that losing weight doesn't mean that all my problems are lost as well, it just means that I can deal with my problems at a lower weight that what I used to weigh.

Not only have I had the stress of the job happening but I have also had some health issues which, after some exploratory stuff, we are no closer to finding a resolution than we were before they started. I have decided to just put it all out of my mind, just wish my family could do the same.

But, it is all good from now. On Tuesday I start my new job, on Wednesday I turn 45 (which is a pleasant surprise as I thought I was already 45 turning 46 !!!!), and I feel like I am getting back into the right head space to be able to tackle these last few kilos and get rid of them. I know that as I get closer to my goal weight, the weight takes longer to lose, but I am prepared to just keep at it until it happens. I KNOW that I can do this - now I just need to make it happen. (OK - having eaten 3/4 of a packet for biscuits this afternoon isn't going to help) - that has happened and maybe I just need to do some damage control over the next couple of days to counter act what I did.

I do think that once things have settled on the job front, everything else will fall into place. It seems that I can't really concentrate on two many fronts at once - clearly I am not as skilled at multi-tasking as what I thought !!!!!! Or maybe I just use having a few things on the go as an excuse to have a lapse in my healthy eating - whatever it is, it is going to stop - now - tonight - OK, maybe tomorrow as I am at home by myself tonight and I can hear all sorts of food calling me !!!

Hopefully the weather will be good tomorrow and we will be out there exercising and enjoying ourselves. Last weekend we did a 28km ride on Sunday - Al said, "Hey, if we just do this route another 3 times, we would have just finished the Brisbane to Gold Coast" - that is our next cycling goal - the 100km Brisbane to Gold Coast cycle. Our next walking goal is the 14km Bridge to Brisbane at the end of next month - best get out there in our walking shoes or on our bicycles otherwise we aren't likely to achieve those goals.

Choose being kind over being right, and you'll be right every time - Richard Carlson

We did it !!!!!

2010-06-27T17:54:00.002+10:00

First off I want to thank A and K for their encouragement and support during the ride and the training - it was a great family effort and I think we all did really well.

We were up just after 4am - got the drinks and last few things packed and we were on our way. Arrived in Brisbane with plenty of time to spare and managed to get a parking right across from the park where we needed to be. Thankfully it wasn't as cold as we thought it could have been although it was a little chilly out of the car.

I guess next year we will tackle the start of the race a little differently - we went close to the back so that we were out of the way of the pack but then everyone started joining from the side so, even though we were there and waiting from about 6.15am - we didn't actually get to leave until just after 7.30 - a long time to be waiting around for something to happen.

Anyway, got onto the course and, as my friend said, before I knew it 9.5km were gone and I hadn't even realised it. The hills were as bad as I remembered them and in most instances I just fixed my gaze 2m in front of my bike and just kept pedalling. What I had forgotten was that the majority of the hills were in the second 25kms !!! But that became apparent when we got to the compulsory half way stop and we still had some horrible hills to go. But, it was all good. We had a banana, some trail mix and some energade and then took off again. I was having a lot of pain in my right kidney but that seems to have gone now so that is good.

A and I used our camelpaks but they were leaking and we found ourselves with wet pants and then wet shirts as we were trying to feed the tube around so that it didn't drip - will have to see about replacing some of the parts - maybe they have perished from not being used !!!! I only dry heaved once which was great - normally that happens at the top of most hills !!!! Sometimes I was at the back going up the hills and sometimes I was in the front - and sometimes I was even in the middle. We weren't sure how we were going to be able to stay in contact with each other and said we would catch up at the halfway mark if we lost contact but it was relatively easy once we were away from the crowd.

The second half I think was definitely harder than the first half and I kept on getting cramp in my toes. A said that his toes were really cold and suggested that maybe we shouldn't have laughed at the guy all kitted out with the cycling gear who had socks over his shoes !!! It was quite funny at stages - people all kitted out in, what looked like the most flash outfits and shoes etc etc, walking up the hills. Thankfully I managed to keep my bum on the saddle the whole way - no walking for me !!! I was very proud of that although if things had got to tough I would have walked if I had to.

Our average speed for the 50kms was 20kph which wasn't bad given that I was going up some hills at 8kph !!!! I also reached a personal best - fastest time of 47.78kph - obviously on a downhill !

K slept on the way up and the way down. My legs were really sore and stiff on the way down and, although I was going to sell tickets to see us getting out the car when we finally got home - it probably wasn't as funny as it could have been as I was busting to go to the toilet and so the minute the car stopped and the garage door was open, I was out the car and into the house without thinking too much about how much my legs hurt ! After unpacking the car we showered and then spent the afternoon in front of the TV - dozing, watching TV, reading and knitting.

What a great way to spend a Sunday - can't wait to do it again next year and now the Brisbane to Gold Coast isn't as frightening as it was before this morning - bring it on !!!!!!

Have a fantastic week, take care and go safely !

Weight down, mood down

2010-06-24T20:34:00.000+10:00

My weight was down 0.4kg this morning – I was hoping for 0.5 but it wasn’t to be – and that is OK because it is what it is. That takes my total to 21.9kg in 23 weeks.

My motivation today is lacking – even my FOCUS post-it on my computer didn’t do it for me. I don’t know if it is the weather that made me just want to eat whatever I could lay my hands on but I don’t like it. I feel like I am out of control with my food and I don’t like feeling like that – I don’t want to think that the food is controlling me. I NEED to be in control of what I eat – that is how I have got as far as I have. I don’t want to undo the good that I have done so far, but I am going to have to find something from somewhere to turn this feeling around. It was only a few weeks ago that I was really happy with life – granted there is something happening that it probably the cause of this, but, until decisions are made, I can’t change what is going to happen and I just have to accept it. Easier said than done, I know.

Maybe it is the lack of exercise that is also contributing to making me feel down – those endorphins haven’t had much chance lately to get pumped around. While I understand that it is OK to exercise when the weather is cold, I think it probably isn’t a good idea to exercise in the cold when I have a cold which is why I haven’t had as much exercise lately as I would have liked. I don’t know if the race on Sunday is playing on my mind as well – I know that we can cycle the 50kms and finish (we don’t have any times in mind for how long we are going to take), but I am still nervous about either stacking it myself or someone else stacking it and causing me grief. The fact that the roads are not being closed is of concern as well – knowing that many motorists have such little regard for cyclists.

Yoga was good although my right thigh is feeling a little tender now after some of the poses that we did. We worked on pigeon pose and other variations which were good - these poses always get me in the glutes. We did a really slow, contemplative salute to the sun which I really enjoyed and, of course, the meditation which is always the best way to finish the class. Somehow the energy there is so much better than when I try to meditate on my own at home.

This is a bit disjointed – sorry my mind is all over the place tonight. So much so I am using my TFTD from work here as well !!!!!! Yes, I know that I need to read this particular TFTD and take it on board because it speaks directly to how I feel right now.

TFTD : Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart - Sarah Ban Breathnach

Last week

2010-06-21T22:18:00.000+10:00

My weigh on Thursday saw a loss of 1.4kg taking my total loss to 21.5kg in 22 weeks which I am very happy with. I am feeling so much better in myself – not surprising with that amount of weight gone. Now if I could just get rid of this head cold that I have it would be great ! What I am worried about is not being able to exercise – (a) because it is too cold and (b) because I feel cr*p but I don’t want to get out of the habit of exercising. I get cranky when I don’t exercise – my family don’t like it !!!! (And neither do I actually !)

K has been battling a head cold for a few days now and has been taking some OTC stuff to try to help with a blocked nose and sore throat. That finished yesterday and I stopped at the chemist on the way home from work to get some more stuff for her and I – at the moment no point in going to the dr because there is no infection or anything like that.

We decided to give yoga a last week – couldn’t imagine doing downward dog or salute to the sun with a head that feels like this!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately - things just seem to be so hectic at the moment although I am not sure why because with us being sick, we haven't exercised as much as we normally do or as much as I would like. I guess this past week has made me realise that, while exercise is good for me, I also need to listen to my body when it is not feeling 100%. I have been looking at my charms a lot lately - my runner keeps reminding me of how much fitter I am now than I used to be and my yinyang charm reminds me to keep the balance and if that means not exercising because I am not well, then that is what I need to do, no matter how much my head is saying "Get out there and exercise !!!!"

TFTD : If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something – Gertrude Stein

I did it !!!!

2010-06-13T14:21:00.000+10:00

Today A and I went up to Brisbane to cycle 'the hill' before the race on 27th June. We did it - twice ! Man it feels good. What I did notice was that, you know how sometimes things seem to be much bigger issues in your head than they actually are - well that is what it was like with the hill - some of the hills that we did a few weeks ago when all three of us were cycling were WORSE than 'the hill' today !!!! Clearly 'the hill' had grown in stature in my head but now that I know that I have conquered it twice, it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore. I am REALLY glad that we did the other hills so that I know what to expect when we get to them on 27th !!!

I wonder how often in life I have imagined something was going to be worse than what it turned out to be - how many times I have worried about issues that never happened, or wasted energy on something that never materialised ? Today was such a great example of how powerful your mind is - in my head, this hill was maybe going to be impossible for me to get to the top of but in reality, it wasn't anything like that - I made it up there twice in the space of about an hour. I really would like to keep this incident alive to remind myself that often the reality is not as bad as the imaginary !!!!

I had to laugh at A - when we were on our way back to turn around and do the hill the second time, I overtook him and was riding ahead of him and as we turned I asked if we could stop and make some adjustments to my bike. Anyway, before we pulled out again he said that I should ride ahead of him because he could see how much weight I had lost and how sexy my butt looked ! It made me feel really good to know that he had noticed it and that he cared enough to comment on it. I am always the one cycling at the back - whether there are two of us or three of us. A was an international athlete, K probably had the potential to compete at a really high level of whatever sport she chose had she chosen one, but me, I will always be the fat girl who lost weight and just likes to exercise - I will always be the one at the back of the pack but that is OK. I bet that even though K has done less training than me, she will beat the pants off me come the day and that is fine she is 27yrs younger and about 13kgs lighter than me so she probably should beat the pants off me.

I am off to shower and then attack some chores that very kindly waited for me to finish cycling and get home so that I could get them done.

TFTD : Every huge success starts out as one simple thought.

Staying focussed

2010-06-08T22:55:00.002+10:00

Today has probably been the hardest day for me to stay focussed on what I want to achieve – mainly because I was busy with the most mind numbing data capture work. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy the fact that I get paid as a management accountant to do a data processing job but that doesn’t stop the boredom from hitting or make it easier to stay focussed on what I want to achieve. I have come so close, so many times today, to just eating for the sake of it, but so far I have managed to resist – long may it last because my unofficial weight loss this morning is over 20kgs !!!! Have to stay focussed enough so that I can see that number (or less) on the scales on Thursday morning when I weigh-in.

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS – that is the key for me at the moment.

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Rest day or lazy day ?

2010-06-07T21:30:00.000+10:00

This weekend I did not exercise at all – nothing, zip, zero, zilch, no walks, no cycles, no jogs. I had lots of good intentions but they just didn’t happen for lots of reasons. But, am I using the excuse of a rest day as a way of justifying what I didn’t do ? A keeps telling me how important rest days are when you are training but I am not sure if it is just a way to justify the times when you don’t train.

At 9pm last night I felt really guilty when I realised that we hadn’t done any exercise the whole weekend but not guilty enough to get out from under the blanket and go and do something about it !!!!

I did work packing shelves for 3 hrs on Saturday night at Coles so I did sort of do something but it may be a stretch to call it exercise.

My food intake this weekend was really good given the circumstances – I had good breakfasts both days. Made good choices for lunch when we were out. I had about 6-8 chips with lunch on Saturday and paid the price with an unsettled stomach the rest of the day so said to Al that, in future, please remind me about the fact that, while I love hot chips, my body doesn’t like them anymore and it isn’t worth the discomfort to have them. So yesterday when we were sitting down to have something to eat he reminded me and said he didn’t mind if I had them (as I would have had some of his !!) but that I had asked him to remind me not to have them. I didn’t have any and felt so much better for not having had them.

I also managed to stay focussed enough to not have a muffin or an ice-cream that they had over the weekend. I did have one Ferrero Rocher chocolate but figure that wasn’t going to break my motivation or send me off the rails – I could have eaten a whole heap more but managed to say only one, only one !!!!!!

My unofficial weight loss was just under 20kgs this morning – oh how I wish the 20kg mark would arrive – I am hanging out to get my yinyang Pandora charm !!!!! Someone said to me today that I should just go and buy it but I said that didn’t feel right – if it was to acknowledge my 20kg loss, how could I justify buying it if I hadn’t lost the 20kgs yet ?

I am focussed on doing some exercise tonight – will be going home and making sure that, come rain, hail or snow (OK that isn’t likely on the Gold Coast), I WILL be exercising tonight. Not so much because I have to, but because I missed not exercising on the weekend. Our plans to cycle the horrible hill in Brisbane went south when all arrangements changed on Saturday but, you get that some days and sometimes it is about being able to adapt and adjust to the current situation.

TFTD : If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don’t have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough – Ann Landers

Another great day !

2010-06-04T19:47:00.000+10:00

Well day three of doing exactly what I need to do is just about over - so completely happy with that. Unofficially, total loss of 19kg this morning but it doesn't count until I am that weight on a Thursday morning weigh-in.

There were times today when I was so tempted to have something from the vending machine and I looked up and saw my FOCUS post-it note and had a drink of water instead - I LOVE IT WHEN I AM SO MOTIVATED AND HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO RESIST EATING WHAT I SHOULDN'T - can you tell I am happy ??????

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

Just for today

2010-06-03T21:16:00.000+10:00

Just for today ...... I ate what I was supposed to
Just for today ...... I drank my water
Just for today ...... I did my exercise
Just for today ...... I went to yoga and thoroughly enjoyed it
Just for today ...... I did all of the above because I wanted to and not because I had to, and I enjoyed them
Just for tomorrow ...... I am going to do them all over again (except for the yoga which is only on a Thurday night !!!)

Have a great Friday and an even better weekend !

TFTD : There are three kinds of people: 1. Innovators. 2. Imitators. 3. Idiots - Warren Buffett

FOCUS

2010-06-02T21:13:00.000+10:00

This is what the post-it note that is stuck to the top of my computer says. I am hoping that it will help me to remember what it is that I am working to achieve – a healthy lifestyle as well as some weight loss. This is to help me think about what I am putting into my mouth BEFORE I put it into my mouth rather than sit regretting it after I have eaten it.

My weight has been creeping up this week which is not the way I want it to go but it is because I have not been as focussed as I was a few weeks ago. I have found excuses for why I should have the extras and felt that it would all be good – but it isn’t and I need to get it all back to being good quickly !!!!

Kathy also suggested that maybe just walking isn’t enough to burn off the excess calories now that we are so much fitter than we used to be. We did the 4th in the 5 race Corporate Challenge Series on Sunday and knocked another 1 mins 50 secs off our time. This means that over the course of the three races we have taken part in (there was one race on while we were away) we have knocked 3 mins 50 secs off the time we did in the first race – that has to mean that we are getting fitter but I think it also means that I have to work harder to burn the excess off. Kathy also said that with the time limits that she has she is trying to work harder for the same period of time rather than just for a longer period of time. So tonight we jogged for sections of the walk along the side streets – sometimes it is a little difficult with the dogs – if I run with Alfie, he almost pulls me along whereas sometimes with Rosie she tends to dawdle and doesn’t keep up with me !!!!! Will try this for the next week to see what sort of results I get – OK, I probably need to try it for more than a week but you know what I mean. My legs didn’t feel heavy at all which was great.

I am tossing up the idea of going to a personal trainer for 30 mins a week – don’t think I could do more than a 30 min session. I asked Al if he would come with me and he said a flat out no thanks. I asked him if he would like to think about it and he said no thanks, he did two years conscription in the navy and said that he doesn’t want someone telling him what to do !!!! I asked if he could think of it as them training him but he isn’t keen. K said she would come with me so need to seriously think about whether this is what I want or not. It will tie up more of my time but I think if I could use him (one of my client’s husband) to tone up my arms, legs, tummy and butt, it would serve a purpose. Will let you know what I decide. Of course, if you have any stories about what to look out for with a personal trainer, I would love to hear from you.

I am going to try to have an early night tonight. Despite my history of sleeping better when I exercise, this is not happening. I wake up at least once or twice, sometimes even three times, an hour and I am soooooooo tired. I don’t understand how I can be so tired but not be able to sleep – it just doesn’t make sense.

I am not looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow – I am expecting a gain but that is totally my own fault. I have not been nearly careful enough with what I have been eating but today, the first day of the rest of my life, I have had a good day. I haven’t eaten anything I am not supposed to eat, I have exercised (including some running) and I have remained focussed on my goal of losing some more weight.

TFTD : Self-worth makes you extremely attractive.

Complacency or ................ ?

2010-05-31T23:49:00.000+10:00

I am starting with the TFTD today because it is so relevant for me at the moment.

"You may have a fresh start any time you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down" Mary Pickford

Having lost 18.5kgs, I am feeling successful in my weight loss endeavours but I am also finding that it is easier to eat those things that are not assisting me in losing the next 12-15kgs that I want to lose to get to the weight that I want to be. Initially, it was so much easier to just say no to the things that weren't helping me get to where I want to be but now it is harder. I feel more like I am entitled to have a life without total deprivation, but am I if I can't control it ????????

Yesterday is a good example - we got up early and had our breakfast before going to the race. Got home and walked the dogs down to the park at the Broadwater to run and fetch the ball. Came home and showered and off to Robina to do some shopping. At 11.30 K said "I know it is early for lunch but I am starving." I suggest sushi or Subway. A suggests Grill'd. Off we go to Grill'd because the weather is a bit cold and we want something warm. That is fine - I have a grilled chicken burger and a couple of chips (OK more than a couple because I felt like cr*p about 30 mins later because I had eaten said chips !!!!). I didn't eat the whole roll and left some of the salad stuff out as well because there was just too much. Had a Coke Zero - so far, not too bad. Then we walk past Darryl Lea - liquorice - 98% fat free (never mind all the sugar !!!) so we buy a packet. After a couple of hours it is time to go to the movies - we have booked to see Robin Hood using the Gold Lounge tickets that Al got for his birthday. We get there and get a drink - only diet drink is Pepsi Max (which I hate) so I have Solo. Strike 1. Then the movie starts and they bring us each a box of popcorn. I have about 1/5 box and realise I am just eating it because it is there so stop but really, that is Strike 2 ! Prior to going into the movies we ordered spring rolls and chips at 4.30 and then sticky date pudding with ice-cream at 5.30 - these come and I happily partake of them 'because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity - we aren't going to pay $35 each for movie tickets no matter how comfy the chairs and why should I deprive myself' - Strike 3 and, if I was playing baseball or softball, I would be out.

Am I getting too complacent with my loss to date ? Or, is life for living and it can't be all about denying the nicer things in life ? Or, it is about being able to do it all in moderation ? I think it is a bit of the first and last question - I AM getting complacent with my loss to date - my clothes are fitting better, people are commenting on how much weight I have lost and I am feeling good about myself. Will I feel better in another 12-15kgs time - for sure I will. Will I be able to lose that next 12-15kgs - not so certain. Can I have a bit of those extra things without going overboard - I have ALWAYS been an all or nothing kind of person. I am either totally committed or can't be bothered - there is very little that is middle of the road for me and I need to find the balance between being totally obsessed with my weight and living a life that is enjoyable and worth living. Just how I am going to do this I don't know. What I do know is that my TFTD today is one that I am going to keep with me to remind me that I am NOT a failure until I stop picking myself up and trying again.

Have a great week everyone and take care !

Nothing to say !

2010-05-28T18:45:00.002+10:00

Those of you who know me will know that the title of today's post is a little unusual - I usally have lots to say about a whole range of things. Tonight I sat down to blog and I went "I have nothing to say today". I have sat here wracking my brain for a few minutes and I still "have nothing to say" - so on that note, I am going to go and give my child a massage that she asked for.

Have a great weekend !

TFTD : Life is like a sandwich - the more you add to it the better it becomes.

The dreaded snooze button

2010-05-25T17:10:00.001+10:00

Does anyone dislike the snooze button as much as I do ? I think I dislike it more than the actual alarm going off in the morning. Mine might be a bit dodgy which is why sometimes it snoozes for just a minute and other times it snoozes for the conventional 5 minutes – but, no matter what it snoozes for, it seems to me that I just doze off and it is going off again. I know, I know – if I just got up when the alarm first went off I wouldn’t have to worry about the snooze button – but I can’t. No matter how many times I try – I just can’t get out of bed when the alarm goes off – I NEED to have a few ‘snoozes’ before I get up. I don’t know why – A doesn’t know why – but I am sure he wishes that I would just get up the first time it goes off. He generally doesn’t get up until after me so there must be mornings when I snooze for about 30 minutes with the alarm going off every 5 minutes it must drive him nuts but, given he has never said anything, maybe it isn’t that bad !! Of course winter time is worse because the chance to stay snuggled under the doona for those extra few minutes sometimes is just too hard to resist – the down side is that, the longer I lie in bed, the more I have to rush or the later I will be for work which probably isn’t the end of the world but if I am too late I have to stay later to make up the time (or just get paid less) and, the chances of getting a parking space diminish in direct proportion to how late I am.

This adds to the dilemma of how short to cut my hair. The shorter it is the more often I have to wash it – at least if I can tie it up, I only have to wash it every other day instead of every day and, with winter on the way, I would prefer to spend every second longer in the morning in bed rather than getting up earlier every morning to wash and dry my hair UNLESS I went really, really short but my head may not like that during winter – at least with long hair, I have a chance of keeping some part of my body i.e. my head, warm. Given how much I feel the cold, this is probably going to be the deciding factor in the decision on how short to cut my hair. There is still a part of me that wants to go really short but that part may have to just wait until closer to summer (and more kilos gone).

TFTD : There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden, or even your bathtub.

Another Monday

2010-05-24T17:15:00.002+10:00

How come Monday seems to come around so much more frequently than Friday ? It seems like every time I turn around it is Monday again but man, I have to wait and wait and wait for Friday to get here. I suppose that it is just one of those things that are part of the unexplained.

We had a great weekend – a good mix of clients, chores around the house, exercising and resting. We got up to Brisbane yesterday and cycled 28kms of the race – boy are the hills in Brisbane something else when compared to those on the Gold Coast – I guess everything really is bigger and better up there ! The worst thing is that we didn’t get to do the worst hill – the one that dog legs about 3 or 4 times. Will try to get to that one next time we go up – probably in two weeks time as next Sunday we have the fourth race in the Corporate Challenge races so think we will just cycle locally on Sunday and do some hill work around here.

On our way home we stopped off and got two new saddles as A and I are still battling with our butts on the saddles we had. Unfortunately our butts did not like the time they spent on the saddles yesterday so we have decided to stop dicking around trying to change the angle of the saddles that we have and to get new ones – these have a 90 day money back g’tee so you had better believe that if our butts don’t like these ones, they are going to be going back.

I think that I am soon going to have to put a ban on us going to Anaconda – just like I had to do with Bunnings when we first moved into the house. You will be amazed at all the things you didn’t know you needed until you go into one of these two shops and then – BAM – it hits you – gosh this would be handy to have, wow this would work really well over here, gee this is amazing and I am sure that we will be able to use it so much – it just never stops. The worst thing is that you go there expecting to spend maybe $2 buying a washer for a leaking tap and come out having spent $150 on stuff that you didn’t even know you needed but which you are really sure is good value for money !

A’s hand is progressing slowly – he has taken leave this week from Coles so it is going to be great having him at home in the evenings. I am also another step closer to a different marketing strategy thanks to the help of a very dear friend, I now have a one colour DL size flyer ready to be saved as a pdf file and sent to the printer for printing and distribution. I just need to decide what areas I want to target and how much money I can afford to spend.

My weight is slowly coming down this week – not as fast as I would like but then it never is, is it ? Today I could so easily have walked to the Arts Café and bought a milk chocolate macadamia cookie but kept putting it off until it was just about home time and there is no point in eating a cookie that close to going home – could just wait and have a fruit cup when I get home and save those calories for another day when I am really desperate for something sweet.

TFTD : You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.

The weekend is here !

2010-05-21T18:19:00.000+10:00

There were times during this week when I wondered if the weekend would ever arrive – but it has and I am happy !

Unfortunately the Saturday morning yoga classes have been cancelled as the yogi’s husband now has to work on a Saturday so won’t be starting my weekend with a yoga class anymore which is a little sad but these things happen.

I have one client booked in and someone else interested in an appointment so will wait to see if anything eventuates with the second client. Other than that, I have to go for a blood test in the morning and then that is probably me for the day. I might take some time out and try to rest up a little – I haven’t been feeling all that flash this past week and wonder if maybe we are overdoing the exercise a little. A keeps reminding me that rest is an important part of exercise – maybe tonight will be a good night to have off seeing as it is raining and, while I know we won’t melt, A’s chest is not all that good and the chances of him getting sick as a result of walking in the rain are rather high. I would rather forego one night’s walk and not have a sick husband than the other way around !

We had a look at the paperwork that we have received for the race next month – BIG BUGGER – they don’t close the roads to traffic while we are cycling – BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did we miss seeing that somewhere before we registered (probably because we didn’t have the paperwork we have just received or maybe we just didn’t read all the pages on the website !!!!!) – so, now do I not only have to make sure to stay clear of any cyclists who may have stacked it ahead of me but I have to worry about bloody cars driving right next to me as well !!!!! Bet there aren’t any cycle tracks along the route to help us either !!!! This is getting to be more than a little harder than I originally anticipated but, it will all be good when we are finished, in one piece (I hope) and proud of what we have achieved !

My eating is going along at an OK kind of pace – I am doing my own breakfast and having a L&E meal in a bowl for lunch and then the L&E dinner but I am finding that I am spending more time thinking about what I would really really like to eat and that is probably because I am bored at work. I need to find a job that is challenging and busy (not in a frantic way but enough to just keep me going the whole day) that tests my brain and what I am capable of achieving. I did see a job yesterday that I want to apply for but I know that it was advertised about 3 or 4 months ago so have to wonder what happened to the person who was appointed – should probably check to see if I applied for it when I saw it that time ago. You would think that if their first choice person didn’t work out (for whatever reason), they would have looked at other candidates who applied. Never mind, I will send my application off tonight and see if anything comes of it.

TFTD : When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability …. to be alive is to be vulnerable.

So close .......

2010-05-20T19:46:00.002+10:00

to the 20kg mark. A loss of 2.1kg this morning took my total loss to date to 17.9kg – I can almost smell the 20kg mark. I just need to be patient and continue to do what I have been doing. We have been tracking our weight loss (since the beginning) and exercise (not as long) and I want to try to find the time to have a look back, week for week, to see whether the amount, type or intensity of exercise has any bearing on my losses.

One thing that I have noticed is that the plateau that I was in before we went away is well and truly gone. I think that my plan moving forward is going to be, firstly, have a look to see how many weeks we had been watching what we were eating before I hit the plateau and when I get to around that mark again, take a week or two off – eat what I want, within reason, and just have a break. The break that we had when we were away really seems to have given my weight loss a good jolt back to where it should be. I am still amazed at my losses, while I am being good about what I eat, I didn’t think I had been that good to have lost just on 4.5kgs in two weeks this far into my journey. Maybe it is the exercise that is really helping to burn these calories – I have noticed that when we are out walking each day, we don’t just stroll along, we walk quite quickly although there are times when we do seem to slow down a little and when I realise this, I step it up a notch again.

I love the feeling that I get when exercising but I also need to start listening to what my body is saying to me while exercising. My right thigh was twinging a bit last night and the night before but we still walked the longer route. When I mentioned it to A he said that it may be muscle fatigue because we have done quite a bit lately so we have decided that we will just do the ‘short’ walk tonight and see how it goes because it is only on the extra bit of the walk that I have felt the twinging happen.

I need to get about 4-5kgs more off so that I can fit into my next lot of clothes – I seem to be at the in-between stage and it is very frustrating. I have one pair of work pants that fit me nicely, the others are all too big, and, while I can wear them, they are really quite uncomfortable. Maybe if I get a chance on the weekend I will get the next lot of pants out the kist and see just how far off I am being able to get into them. I know that a while ago I thought to myself that it was about 5kgs but maybe it isn’t that much anymore.

We are planning a cycle along the route in Brisbane on Sunday. It won’t be the full route – just part of it so that we can see how the bikes handle the cr*ppy roads of Brisbane ! Also, we will probably pick a section that has a couple of hills reasonably close together so that we can get some hill work in at the same time.

TFTD : Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future. By living your life one day at a time you live all the days of your life.

Life is good !

2010-05-19T21:27:00.000+10:00

I have been doing some thinking lately as I have a few health issues that need to be addressed – and they always make you think about other stuff, don’t they ? Anyway, even though I have these things to deal with, I was thinking about how good life is for me right now (geez, I hope I don’t jinx it by saying this !!!!). I have a fantastic family who are loving and supportive of what I do, I have a business that I am growing which does take a lot of energy but it is good to see the results of the energy spent when I get repeat clients, my weight is moving towards being in a healthy range and I love exercising and find I can get a bit cranky when we have to miss exercising for whatever reason – life is good !

I don’t know if it is my attitude that has changed or whether things are just better but I don’t feel nearly as stressed as I used to. Financially we aren’t doing as well as I would like but even that doesn’t seem to be getting me into the spin that it used to – maybe because now I realise that we are doing what we can and there isn’t much more we can do to generate extra funds (winning Lotto would be great but I don’t think it would be wise to hang everything on that happening). I could hound Coles for more shifts but I don’t think that is the answer – the one thing I would love is for the business to really take off so that A could give up Coles (but I am working on that and it will happy in time – I just hope it happens sooner rather than later !)

On the job front things aren’t all that flash – in fact, they are bloody awful – but I have realised that in order for me to concentrate my energies on my family, our business, my weight loss and our exercise, I need an area of my life that demands nothing of me other than that I show up each day, ready to put in my 9 hrs and leave at the end of the day – not having to take work home with me, not even having to take thoughts of work home with me. The last permanent job that I had saw me working 70-80 hour weeks and I know that that isn’t what I want for myself or my family – the money and the prestige of the job just aren’t worth the sacrifices we had to make for me to stay in that job and the reason why I left, for the first time ever, without having another job to go to. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but geez am I glad I did.

I am now starting to appreciate the down time that I do have instead of feeling guilty because I am not rushing around ‘doing’ something !

I think one of the things which is really keeping me motivated is the compliments that I have been receiving – people are really noticing the weight loss and that seems to help me stay focussed on what I need to do to continue to keep the weight coming off. When I was phoning to make an appointment with one of the specialists yesterday, the receptionist asked me what my weight was because she said she would need it for the anaesthetist – I told her what it was but also said that it wouldn’t be that in July when I have the procedure because I hope to be a lot less by then. She then asked me what I had been doing and I told her and she sounded so happy that I had lost this much weight and wished me good luck with continuing on my journey – it was just great because she doesn’t know me from a bar of soap so really had nothing to gain by being happy for what I had achieved especially as she said she had about 30kgs to lose and would love to be my current weight !!!!

To all those people out there battling and struggling with their own issues – hang in there, it does get better. There were times when I wondered if I was doomed to a life of worry and lack, but now I realise that it is up to me to make my life the best that it can be. Sitting around doing nothing but expecting it all to arrive on my doorstep is not how the universe works – nor does it work on a one for one basis of you do something for me and I will do something for you – it does except us to get up and go out there and grab hold of what we want and make it our own. And that is what I am doing – I am taking responsibility for the things that I can control and I am not worrying about the things that I can’t. I am going to use my energy in positive ways rather than negative ways and I am going to be the best person that I can be. (I am also going to ear mark this post for days when I feel like it is all turning to cr*p so that I can come and have a re-read of how positive I can be !)

TFTD : The distance is nothing, it is the first step only that is difficult.

The birthday week that was

2010-05-17T23:20:00.001+10:00

Well the birthday week is over after much celebrating and eating and drinking - thank goodness birthdays only come around once a year - except of course if you are born on 29th February in which case they only come around once every four years. The only problem is that everyone's birthday comes around once a year so in actual fact you land up celebrating more than just once a year if you add up everyone's birthday that you celebrate you would find that some months it would be hard to get through the month without more than a few birthdays sneaking up on you - this makes it hard to lose weight when you don't want to offend anyone by picking at your meal or their birthday cake or snacks or whatever they have provided you to eat and drink. But, celebrate with our friends and family we do and then hope that we can increase our exercise enough to work off the additional calories we ate and drank in the celebrations.

K had a wonderful birthday week and it was fantastic watching her enjoy the time with her family and friends but I am glad that we can return to some sort of normalacy now. I have been doing the best I can with the food choices available and have increased my exercise where possible so the scales are showing a loss so far this week taking me (up to today) to a loss just under 17kgs. I am happy about that but just wish that I could shed these last 15kgs quicker - mind you I think I also keep moving the goal posts because originally I said I wanted to lose 30kgs - now that has crept up to 32kgs - maybe what I should do is have a look at how I feel and look when I get closer and then decide on the number but for now, the number seems soooooooooooooooooo far away and I want it to be closer. I guess eating those extra snacks and biscuits won't help, will they ?????

We did a 48km cycle yesterday in preparation for the race at the end of June - the first 20kms incorporated hills along Turpin Rd, Johnstone St and Ferry Rd down to Broadbeach but then the cycle home, via the Spit was all flat - not good preparation for hills but good preparation for butt time on the saddle as the ride landed up being about 2.5hrs. Will be doing more of these rides over the coming weekends.

I have a couple of repeat clients booked in this week which is always good - I am still planning on getting my walking/cycling in every day because I need to do it to achieve my weight loss goals. This week I have stuck to my promise to only not exercise if I had something else on or was injured in some way - I have had lots on but I haven't been injured so have exercised at every opportunity and I do believe that that has helped with my weight loss this week - of course the party on Friday night could still catch up with me and if I don't stop sneaking a few extra biscuits for my afternoon tea, it is definitely going to show up so I guess I had better get my act together before weigh-in on Thursday morning.

Someone asked me a while ago if I was happy with my weight loss and I said to her that it was slower than I would have liked but faster than I expected and I put this down to the fact that I am more consistent with my exercise than I have every been before. Previosuly I might have done my 30 mins 3 x per week and that would have been it - if I was really daring I might have done it 4 x per week whereas now we are walking the dogs almost every day (at least 6 out of 7 days) and cycling on top of that when we can plus our walks are faster and longer. What I don't want to happen is that I become complacent about what I have lost which I think is beginning to happen hence the extra 1 or 2 biscuits for my snacks which can sometimes turn into another 5 or 6 at night when I am finished with my clients and feeling a little peckish - yes, I could probably have a fruit cup but how interesting is that ??????? I used to think that would be fine to have - now I don't so I need to find that part of my brain that says, when you want something sweet late at night, have a fruit cup instead of a handfull of biscuits. If you find that part of my brain anywhere on your travels, please send it home to me.

On that note, I am off to bed - a lovely, electric blanket warmed bed that is going to keep me cozy until A gets home from work.

Take care and be good to yourselves !

Another year older - not me, K !

2010-05-12T22:46:00.000+10:00

Where has the time gone to – it certainly doesn’t feel like 18 years since I went into hospital to have K. As with all families, we have had our ups and our downs but we are so proud of the young lady that she has become and I have to thank Al for being the fantastic Dad that he has been – I could never have managed without him.

I haven’t had a chance to blog about our holiday because the notes that I made are my phone and, for whatever reason, won’t allow themselves to be mailed to an address where I can use them from so I am going to have to (at some point in time) sit down and transcribe them from my phone – when I get a chance !

We had a fantastic break. The weight wasn’t all that flash but within 2 days of getting home I had lost the weight that I had put on while away on holiday so I really can’t complain about that. The highlights for me of the holiday were :
Being comfortable in an aeroplane seat and not having to extend the seat belt in order to be able to do it up.
Being able to go into a whole range of shops, take clothes off the rack, try them on and then decide which of them I wanted to buy or not buy as was the case in most instances – not because they didn’t fit, but because I felt that I didn’t really need them.
Being able to eat what I wanted without feeling guilty (most of the time) because I knew that when we got home again, we would be back on track with our eating and our exercise and it would all be good BUT we did have to make choices. Most of our choices were healthy choices but then sometimes they weren’t – the main thing, for me, was that we stopped, looked, checked how much we wanted something and then, if we didn’t want it that badly, put it back and made a better choice.

We went to a live NRL game as well as a live AFL game – AFL now has three new converts ! What an experience that was. We are going to see Brisbane Lions vs Geelong Cats on Saturday night with someone who has more of an idea of how the game works than we do so that will be good.

We have nearly a week of celebrations for K’s birthday – family dinner last night as she only finishes uni at 8pm tonight and we thought that it was too late to get the family to wait for dinner, drinks tonight with us after uni, party on Friday night for her friends at home and the off to the AFL on Saturday night. Breakfast this morning was supposed to be weetbix and fruit but how can you have that for a birthday breakfast ? So we decided to have pancakes, syrup, lemon juice, cinnamon sugar and ice-cream instead. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do !!!!! To be honest, I thoroughly enjoyed my breakfast this morning but it will mean an extra long walk this evening. I think this is the key to maintaining my weight loss when it is finally all off – eat something extra, exercise more and it will all be good !

Last night we didn’t have a chance to walk the dogs before dinner and so we said we would do it when we got home. Well after a lovely grilled piece of barramundi and a few spoons of sticky date pudding, when we got home the last thing I felt like doing was going for a walk. Plus, Grey’s Anatomy was on and that would have to be one of my favourite shows so, after booking our tickets for the AFL on Saturday and checking out the GCFC website, I sat down to watch. Al asked if I was going to walk with him and I said “No thanks – I’m watching Grey’s and I am comfy and warm here.” BAD MOVE !!!!!! I should have gone for a walk because when I eventually got to bed last night I felt so guilty about having sat watching TV rather than going walking – it was just awful. I said to Al that in future – unless there is a really good reason for me not to walk (not just a show on TV that I could actually tape !!!!) – I was going to walk. It is just so hard now that it is getting colder in the evenings – so much nicer to curl up under the blanket and just watch TV !!!!!

We are planning a 2-3 hr cycle on Sunday – have to increase the time our bums spend on the seats otherwise it is going to be a long 50kms in just over 6 weeks time. That ride will include some hill work along Turpin Road and Johnstone Street and then probably down to the Broadbeach markets and home again – that will give us a fair idea of how we think we might do in the race bearing in mind that there are going to be a gazillion other cyclists there as well as we will probably stay somewhere near the back so that we don’t stack it if other riders do ! If you are interested in sponsoring me, please give me a shout and I will send you the link.

Have a great rest of the week – take care and go safely !

TFTD : When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you till it seems you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. – Harriet Beecher Stowe

Added later : Have to love going to the drawer and pulling out clothes that you think won't fit - and they don't BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO BIG !!!!! Loved the great walk we did tonight before collecting K from uni and going out for her first legal drink and play on the pokie machines.

To go down or to go up ? What will my body decide to do ?

2010-04-22T21:40:00.000+10:00

Things have been tracking really well with my exercise and eating this week but I am not seeing any loss. Have I reached the famous ‘plateau’ that everyone talks about ? Is my body saying ‘Hey, this is too fast – where is all my insulation going ? Don’t you know that winter is coming up and I need it ?’ which doesn’t really help me accept that the weight is not moving even though I am doing everything the same.

Yesterday I did have a summer roll chocolate – and I thoroughly enjoyed every morsel of it. I figure if I can’t eat something worth about 160 cal without having heart palpitations over it, my life probably isn’t worth living anyway. And one chocolate in I don’t know how many weeks surely can’t be too bad for me. I got home last night and really didn’t feel like walking but A was up for a walk and I felt a bit guilty over the chocolate so went walking. I don’t think I walked as fast as I normally do because my thighs were quite tight and tender. The important thing for me was actually getting out there rather than staying at home and working my way through the list of things that I had to do last night. I tackled those when I got home and apart from one thing which wasn’t on the list because I had forgotten I wanted to do it, I managed to get the rest of the list done so felt really good about that.

I have one client tonight so, depending on the weather because it is peeing down with rain now and has been raining on and off most of the day, we will go for a cycle or a walk and then home to dinner and my client.

I found a training program for us to use in the lead up to the bike ride. The main problem is that it is a 12 week program and we will only have 7 1/2 weeks from when we return from holiday so I think I may just start the program off at week 6 and see how we go. It may get a bit tricky trying to fit it in with clients and two jobs but we will do the best we can.

Only another two work days and then we are on our way – I can’t wait !!!

Have a great day and take care.

TFTD : Bad times have scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A great weekend !

2010-04-18T21:15:00.000+10:00

I can't believe that the weekend is over - the good thing is that we have managed to accomplish so much.

Friday night I promoted my business, The Body and Feet Retreat, at a friend's kindy's Ladies Night and it was really worthwhile. I got to bookings and heaps of enquiries which was great - all for the princely sum of $10 and the donation of a free reflexology treatment.

Saturday morning K and I went to a really good yoga class. After that K went to work and A and I went to Brisbane. We visited a friend in hospital who is doing really well and may be allowed to go home tomorrow. After that we drove the route of the 50km bike ride that we are going to ride at the end of June - boy do we have a whole heap of hill work to do in order to complete this race without killing ourselves !!!! The hills are more numerous, steeper and longer than what we have around here so we have our work cut out for us. BUT, they are all do-able - it is just that more training would mean an easier ride. I know that it is all in the gears, but I was still a little startled when I saw some of the hills - we will get there I know. A says that he is more worried about all the other people cycling with us and avoiding us stacking it more than he is worried about the hills !!!

We stopped off at DFO on our way home and, I can now shop at Lorna Jane !!!!!!!! - YAY because their clothes are so comfy - am waiting until I am closer to goal before I go back again ! Got home and then took the dogs for a really long walk to get my steps for the day over the 10,000 mark and got caught in the rain on the way home so had a nice hot bath to warm up.

This morning we were going to cycle down to Broadbeach to the markets there but once we started, we realised that there was a fairly strong head wind so we decided to go along a road that has a few hill. I was so excited when I got to the top of the first hill which I have been DREADING cycling because I didn't think I would make it - BUT I DID !!!!! I was soooooooooo excited. Anyway, we didn't get quite as far as we wanted to go because half way up the last long hill, I wasn't sure I would make it home if we went all the way to the top so we turned around - I was disappointed afterwards because I felt as if I had stuck it out I probably would have made it. Next time I am not going to stop half way !

We got home and then went out and bought some slicks for our moutain bikes at a really good price and swopped the jeans we bought the other night from black to demin. After that we to Anaconda to swop the speedo that A had bought for my bike and the guy we saw was just amazing. He really knew his stuff and we spoke about getting new road bikes. The bottom line is we went back and landed up buying new bikes - unfortunately, we had taken our bikes there for him to see and then we had 6 bikes and a bike holder for 4 bikes so K and I waited there with the other two until A could get home and drop the first 4 bikes off. By the time we got home it was too late to go cycling - how disappointing !!!!!!! But, they are all ready and waiting for us to use them tomorrow.

A was busy putting the speedos on the new bikes when we decided to go walking except by then it was raining. So we waited 10 mins and it was fine to go walking ! Managed to get my 10,000 steps up by running on the spot for 80 steps before I had a bath. I have twinged the muscle in my right quad and am off to massage it a bit and put some heat on it and hopefully it will be all right for me to try out the new bike - I can't wait !!!!!!

We have had a great weekend and next weekend we are off to Melbourne - life is good right now ! Take care and have a great week.

It's back .................... sort of !

2010-04-15T19:09:00.002+10:00

The motivation that I was missing yesterday is back today. Last night I realised that it is up to me to change my attitude if I don’t like what is happening – I don’t have to be a victim of my circumstances and so today I started the day in a different frame of mind and it is working – I don’t feel down like I did yesterday. It is all good and I am happy.

I had a hectic night last night but that was OK because I knew it was going to be hectic so had a bit of plan for tackling everything. I had a late client so it was after 9pm by the time I was finished with her and then K wanted a massage so it was closer to 10pm by the time I as ready to eat by which time I no longer wanted to eat – so I didn’t. I figured that missing one meal wasn’t going to kill me and it was probably better for me not to eat that late in the day although I do think that it gave me a false reading at my weigh in this morning. Down another 1.4kg taking total loss in 13 weeks to 15.2 ! That is just about half way so I am quite happy with that. Someone asked me the other day if I was happy with how my weight loss was progressing and I said that it was probably quicker than I think it should be (or what it has been in the past) but not as fast as I would like it to be !!!!! I think what has made it a bit easier this time is that the whole family is doing it and while K&A never tempted me and supported me in my weight loss endeavours, there is something different about them supporting me to them actually doing what I am doing. Plus we are doing heaps more exercise that I have done in more years than I care to think about !! Having said that I am really enjoying it and the feeling of accomplishment when we get home after a hard walk or cycle is fantastic ! Just knowing that I got off my butt and did something is good.

Have a great Friday tomorrow everyone !

TFTD : The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you are willing to work – Oprah Winfrey

Come back Motivation ...... all is forgiven !

2010-04-14T22:30:00.002+10:00

I don’t know what has happened but today my motivation has gone AWOL – and I don’t like it ! “Come back motivation – all is forgiven”. I have to believe it is a short term hitch and nothing too serious but honestly, right now I could sit down and tuck into all the foods that I know aren’t good for my weight loss plan. But instead, I am sitting here, drinking my water and writing my blog in the hope that I will be distracted enough not to pick up my purse and go and raid the vending machine. Of course that may still happen seeing as there are still another 3 hrs of work for today left but, for now, I am distracted enough not to do it.

Last night we had ribs for dinner. I knew we were going for ribs and I planned accordingly. I could have had nothing to eat during the day but I knew that wouldn’t work because when the ribs came I would have savaged the whole rack and all the chips and probably the plate as well (actually, I don’t think they use plates I think they use serving platters !) but I planned my food for the day and cut down my calories, where I could, to allow for some extra calories at dinner. All in all I probably did eat too many calories at dinner but I am certain that it wouldn’t have been a gazillion more than I should have – in fact it probably wasn’t even thousands more than I should have and more like maybe a couple of hundred calories more than I should have. But, given the exercise that we got up to on the weekend, I know that I have already burnt those calories off. So the question is – Why do I feel like I want to eat every single chocolate in sight today ? Is it because I haven’t reached my 10,000 steps for the past two days and, while I know I need to make the effort for the rest of week, I am already wondering how late at night I will need to walk in order to reach my 10,000 steps for the rest of the week. Part of me has said – why not make your week the same as your weigh week (Thursday – Wednesday) ? But there is a part of me that knows that it is just trying to justify having another day of not reaching my goal without making me feel guilty !!! I understand that things happen to get in the way of our plans but this is really just bad planning on my part – actually, not even bad planning because these were planned, I just didn’t follow the plan when it came up as a reminder on my phone !!!!! So I need to pull myself towards myself, stop stuffing around and just get on with what needs to be done.

I have a new client tonight which is great – hopefully she will turn into a regular client but if she doesn’t, I hope that she enjoys the treatment that she will have had by the time I get to post this entry.

I wonder if maybe I am trying to spread my positivity too thin. I am trying to stay positive about my weight loss, my eating and my exercise and even more so than those, I am trying to stay positive about finding a new job – the job that is just right for me because I really don’t want to go from one miserable job to another. I want to find a job that is challenging without being over the top because at the end of the day, my family and my health are more important than any job will ever be but it is so hard when I have been looking for such a long time and trying to stay positive for such a long time I starting to wear me down. I feel like I must be doing it incorrectly otherwise how come the universe hasn’t responded. I know that the universe works in it’s own time but, in this context, three months isn’t exactly a short period of time.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

TFTD : When you realise that nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you !

Finding the balance

2010-04-13T22:17:00.000+10:00

Before we started our weight loss journey, we went to a local tavern to have ribs for dinner but, because we got there at about 7pm, by the time we came to order, they had run out of ribs and so we had to order something else which was extremely disappointing because we had gone there hanging out for ribs but then not able to have them. We started our diet the next day and after a couple of weeks Al wanted to know when we could go for ribs. I told him he could go at any time but until I had lost at least 12-14kgs, I wasn't even going to consider going there because I needed to stay focussed on my weight loss - which is a lot more than what he has to lose. While I hit the 13.8kg mark at the weekly weigh-in, I did lose more and hit the 14kg mark so said to A that he could book a table for ribs tonight. He did and we went and had them - and they were awesome ! I really enjoyed them - I could have eaten more than I did but I didn't because I had had enough and I would have just been eating for the sake of eating which is one of the reasons I put on the weight in the first place. Is this the first step to recognising a trigger that sets me on the slippery slope downward after I have lost my weight ? I am really happy that I realised when I had eaten enough and stopped.

I know at some point we are going to have to stop doing L&E, if only because the sameness of the meals after a period of time is enough to make you wander off to the vending machine rather than eat the healthy lunch that you have at work. With this in mind I have started to 'make up' my own lunch. The main difference ? There is always some fruit and my 'treat' for the day is only 80-100 cal instead of 700-800 cal - who would have thought that there were so many calories in biscuits - such innocent looking little things ?

When I started counting steps this time I set a goal of achieving over 10,000 steps 5 days out of 7 - this week I have had my two days off already - and it is only Tuesday !!!! But, that is OK - yesterday I had yoga and I had told myself that it would be a rest day after the full on day we had on Sunday. Today we went out to dinner and when we got home, A said "Let's go for a walk" - I could have gone with him but I stayed at home to watch Gray's Anatomy and Private Practice - they are my two favourite shows on TV and tonight I would rather watch them than exercise. Is that a bad thing ? I don't think so - I think this is about finding the balance between exercising and relaxation - yes, I could have exercised but I wanted to watch the shows, so I stayed at home while he took the two dog for a walk and the best part is, I don't feel guilty about it. I feel I have achieved the balance that I needed today - it may not be like this tomorrow, but for today, I have balanced what I want to do with what I need to do.

TFTD : People with goals succeed because they know where they are going.

The weekend that was

2010-04-11T22:21:00.000+10:00

I wish that this was a four day weekend instead of a normal two day weekend because it has certainly been a busy one ! From yoga at 8am yesterday - to treating some clients - to going to buy some road bikes only to be told that there are none in stock ............ anywhere in Australia until the 2011 stock comes in in about a month's time. So, seeing as we couldn't get our bikes we took the dogs for a walk instead before going to work for 3 hrs - what more could you ask for on a Saturday night ????? Certainly not that BUT it helps to pay the bills so, it was off to work we went.

When the alarm went off at 6am this morning I wasn't too keen to get up to head off for our second 5km race, but I did. We will find out our time tomorrow and so there be able to see the improvement from the first race which was a couple of weeks back - just not sure if we can keep improving on our times. We will miss the next race as we will be in Melbourne but then we will be back for the fourth race on 30th May and the last race on 20th June - one week before we do the 50km Brisbane to Bay bike ride.

We got home from there, loaded up and drove down to Currumbin Valley were we did a 22km cycle along Currumbin Creek Road - a long steady incline made us really work our legs today and, with an average speed to 19.2kph, we were happy with our efforts.

Got home and had lunch before going to Anaconda where they are having a huge sale on bike stuff where we bought some new knicks, two wind breakers and some more cycling gloves. Oh yes, and some more lights for our bicycles. Because we cycle quite often at night and, as it is getting closer to winter and the days getting darker sooner, the flashing lights that we have are not that flash (no pun intended) to cycle with BUT they are great for visibility. So we decided to buy another light so that we can have one flashing light and one light on all the time which helps us to see where we are going.

After we had spent a (very) quick $250 on the bike stuff, we came home and did another 5km walk with the dogs. They had a great time running down a secluded path on a 30m rope - they always seem to walk so much better once they have been for a run. We had a family birthday BBQ to go to at Paradise Point, so had a quick shower and dashed off down there. All I really wanted to do was to stay at home and relax but that was not to be. We were there about 2 hrs before everyone left and we could come home where we have been sitting and relaxing for a while. If I don't sleep well tonight there is going to be all sorts of trouble. I have been sleeping so badly lately which is quite strange before normally when I exercise it helps me to sleep better but not so lately. I can only hope.

I can't say that I am looking forward to a 5 day work week but I will be happy to get a full weeks pay so I guess that I will have to show up there in order to get the money.

I also have two bookings for new clients this week which is great - here's hoping that they turn into regulars. I have a stand at a ladies night on Friday night at a friends kindy and hopefully I will attract a few new clients from that. Once we are back from Melbourne I really have to knuckle down and get some more advertising happening to try to build the business - I really want this to work so that we can give up Coles.

OK - I am going to read a bit before going to bed - take care everyone and have a great week !

TFTD : For every minute you're angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

TGIF !

2010-04-09T22:32:00.000+10:00

I know that it has only been a short week (and if I wasn't sure my pay packet next week will remind me !!!) but I am really glad that today is Friday - not sure I would have managed to get through another day of work.

For some reason I have not been sleeping very well lately - not sure why because normally when I exercise as much as we have been, I sleep really well. It doesn't seem to be the situation at the moment - maybe because I haven't been to yoga for a while. Looking forward to going tomorrow morning. Then on Monday night and after that we will be going on Thursday night and Saturday which will be good because the class on a Thursday is the intermediate class and goes for 90 mins instead of 60 mins.

On Wednesday A said that he had a surprise for me but wouldn't tell me what it was. I guessed a few things but wasn't right and then he said that he would tell me on Thursday after we had weighed. I forgot all about it and yesterday morning he showed me the easter eggs that he had bought from the South African shop - candy coated chocolate eggs that look similar to normal eggs. We used to love these eggs as kids - the first year we had them my Mom had put them into egg cups and pretended that they were real boiled eggs for our breakfast. Of course when we tried to crack the egg and couldn't then realised that they were chocolate we couldn't wait to eat them. We used to get them every year. After we were married, Al and I would buy a couple of boxes (6 eggs in a box) and eat them over the course of a couple of weeks leading up to Easter and beyond. I was really excited when I saw them but said I wouldn't have it for breakfast which is always a rush but would rather keep mine until I could sit down and quietly savour the taste. I had mine tonight - it wasn't as good as I remember it being and so I told Al that he could he the other one in the box that was mine. No point in eating extra calories if they aren't really what I want ! That is something that I have learnt more and more about this time around - I was always brought up to eat what was dished up 'because there were thousands of starving children around the world' - was my Mom going to ship the food I didn't eat off to them ? I don't think so - but she used to tell us that everytime we didn't want to eat something. When I think back now I should have just said no and not eaten it except that we didn't do that, we did what our parents said and that was that. There was certainly never any discussion about why they told us to do something or any reasons given for anything. Maybe that is where we went wrong with K sometimes - had too many discussions and explained our decisions instead of just telling her to do something and be done with it ! Anyway, I digress.

I was talking to someone the other day about the fact that there were a few occasions when I had made a conscious decision to buy a miniture chocolate and eat it - always after I had waited at least 3 hours. The point was that I didn't just go off and buy a large chocolate as soon as I thought "I feel like a chocolate" invariably because I was bored or anxious or waiting for something to happen. She explained the behaviour as a lapse in my eating plan rather than a relapse into a bad habit. That has stood me in good stead quite a few times since then when I have made a decision to eat something - I always think about whether it is a lapse or a relapse. I don't want a relapse but I am happy to have a lapse if it means that I will have a miniture chocolate rather than a large chocolate - just enough to satisfy the sweet tooth that I have that has really missed my daily diet of chocolates and biscuits that I used to live on.

I am trying something a little different with my L&E this week. On the 1200 plan - you generally get cereal, toast and fruit for breakfast. Lunch can be a variety of things plus a fruit and a snack - a biscuit / muffin / pate and biscuits / cracker mix - again a range of things. And then dinner is dinner. The last couple of weeks I have not been too enchanted with the lunches so what I am trying this week is to order breakfast and dinner for the week plus 5 of the 'meal in a bowl' for me to use for lunches (we sometimes get them in the lunches anyway) and then I have bought some fruit cups as my fruit (again something that we would get in the lunches) and I have bought some biscuits to have as my afternoon treat based on the calories that I need for the day. The difference now is that instead of having 6 or 8 biscuits as my snack, I have one AND I always wait until at least 3pm before I eat it - that is the time that I have said is snack time otherwise it would be eaten by 9am every day and then I would have nothing to look forward to !!!!

We have a busy weekend planned - tomorrow we have yoga from 8-9am, then drop K at work on the way home, get home and walk to pick up our numbers for the 5km walk on Sunday morning and take the dogs for a walk at the same time. Have to be home by 10am as I have an appointment from 11-12. Then dash home again for a client at 12.30pm and another at 2pm. After that I think we may shoot off to see about getting some road bikes - am not keen on doing long distances on the mountain bikes without slicks on - but it will depend on what else needs to be done. Then home in time to have dinner and get to Coles by 6pm. On Sunday the race starts at 7am - at least we will have collected our numbers and timing card the day before which means that we can go straight to the start on Sunday morning. K is working at 9am so will have to get home quickly after the race so she can shower and get to work on time. The last race we did in 44mins and some secs so will be interesting to see if we are fitter and can do it quicker this time around. Al and I are going down to Currumbin Creek Road to do a cycle up a road that is apparently a long incline - to help with our fitness levels and stamina for hills. Think that might take a couple of hours (also good to have to sit on the bicycle seat for longer than the hour or so that we normally cycle for) and then it will be home time to shower before going up to Brisbane to see if we can drive the route of the 50km race that we are doing on 27th June. We want to try to have cycled it at least once before the big day so it may have to be next weekend as we don't want to do it too close to the actual day - the weekend after we are off to Melbourne and Adelaide - YAY !!!! Once we get home from Brisbane we have been invited to a BBQ at Paradise Point for one of our nephew's birthday - Al has taken out some steak for the BBQ but K and I are going to heat our meals up and then wrapped them up and take them with us. Much as I love my nephew, I don't want to have a night of eating food that is not what I want and likely to break my focus on the weight loss side of things. I do know that once I am at goal, the trick is going to be intergrating ordinary eating back into our lifestyle and still be able to maintain the weight. I think it will be so much easier this time around because we are all watching what we eat and so when one overdoes things the others are more likely to say hey, do you really need that extra helping of dessert ?????

I am officially a granny - I am sitting in the loungeroom - blogging and watching TV with my bifocal glasses on - what a pleasure to be able to work on the computer and then glance up and be able to see the game on TV !!!!! While the operation was a success, I do miss the close vision that I used to have BUT I don't miss having to wear glasses or contacts 24/7. It is great to be able to see the time on the clock next to the bed, and dry my hair without having to have my glasses on, and eat without glasses on and be able to see what I am eating ! So many positive except for the fact that I can't read and watch TV or knit a pattern and watch TV because my glasses were for distance only. Now with the bifocals, I can do both - YAY !!!!!!!

Have a great weekend everyone - take care and Jod, go safely on the bike ride.

TFTD : It is easier to drift than it is to climb.

Another weigh-in tomorrow

2010-04-07T20:01:00.000+10:00

Thursday seems to come around quite quickly lately - more than once a week I am sure !!!! This is our weigh-in day and while I did have a small Lindt easter bunny and two hot cross buns for breakfast on Sunday, we also did heaps of cycling and walking to burn off those extra calories. I am curious to see whether or not it worked.

I have been doing really well making my 10,000 steps per day although last night I had to run on the spot for 250 steps to reach my goal but I just knew I couldn't go to bed knowing that I had got so close and didn't manage to make it.

A is looking at us doing a 50km cycle in June - Brisbane to the Bay - you cycle from Southbank to Wynnum and back. Would like to drive the course before we enter but early bird discount entrance fee happens if you register before Friday so will have to weigh up the difference between having to pay extra for each of the three of us or maybe entering a race only to find it is full of hills after we have paid. At least with it being in June we do have a bit of time to get some more hill work in - we have been doing some hill work in preparation for the Brisbane to Gold Coast cycle in October but we haven't done anything serious.

My legs were tired tonight when we cycled - I think that tomorrow night I will give them a break and go shopping with K. No matter how many times I tell her Melbourne is the shopping capital of Australia, she insists on buying clothes to take down with her !!!! Will see what she finds tomorrow night.

I am off to have some dinner, do some washing and then hopefully have a great night's sleep = I have been sleeping so badly lately and it is really annoying. Normally when I exercise I sleep so well but not lately - the more I exercise the more it seems to keep me awake.

Take care and have a great day !

TFTD : Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow"

A holi-holi-holiday !

2010-04-02T16:53:00.001+10:00

The good news is that A got the all clear on the lump that was removed - so huge relief over that. Now it is a case of waiting to see if the cut heals or whether he will need a skin graft.

We have had a good few days - lots of exercise - walking and cycling and food has been pretty good except for Thursday at work when I had four little solid easter eggs - I really enjoyed them but I don't think that counts for anything ! I need to be more focused on what I am putting into my mouth. We each have one Lindt easter bunny for Sunday - can't make up my mind whether to just eat it all in one sitting and be done with it or spread it over a period of time. Will see how I feel on Sunday. While we are enjoying the exercise, it really is to help counter-act the effects of the chocolate !!!!!

I landed up working at Coles last night - not my first choice of how to spend the evening but it helps with the money seeing as I only worked 3 days this week.

Tomorrow we have hired a high pressure cleaner to clean the outside tiles - Easter is our annual clean up weekend and I love when we are finished and the tiles are all nice and clean again - it is amazing how dirty they get from one year to the next.

We don't have much else planned - K is working tomorrow. We want to do some longish cycles and lots of walks. I have managed every day, except Monday,to have over 10,000 steps so am really pleased with my efforts in that department.

Sorry this is a little dis-jointed, I am half listening to the TV, half listening to A & K talking and thinking I should go and join them rather than be on the computer.

Will come back another time this weekend and post again !

Have a great Easter break - take care and go safely.

TFTD : Whoever is happy will make others happy too.

A rest day

2010-03-29T21:35:00.000+10:00

I really need to try to keep a positive attitude about my job - it is not easy ! In March last year I got a 4 month contract with the local council - 12 months later I am still there - not from choice but because there are so few other jobs out there. I have applied for I don't know how many, have received a couple of 'thanks but not thanks' letters, have had one interview and came 'a close second' to their final choice candidate, and have not heard back from more than I have heard back from. While I understand this can be a time consuming task for private companies, when employment agents don't even get back to me I get REALLY annoyed. Isn't that what their job is - to find people and at least reply to people who send in their CV's for a role. My current job is so up to date I could walk out of there tomorrow and be satisfied that nobody was going to walk into a mess at all - given the state of the role when I first arrived there, that is no mean feat. I am trying so hard to stay positive that my dream role is out there but every day that I continue to have to deal with burocratic cr*p, it gets harder and harder. I am not used to working in an environment that is so stuck in the past that they will not even CONSIDER changing a process to something that is more beneficial. Honestly, I need to change the whole way I think to work here and I am worried that I am going to lose the ability to work in commerce if I stay here too long. I just KNOW that my dream role is out there and I HAVE to stay positive so that it comes my way but my patience is starting to run thin.

This is certainly not helping my healthy way of eating because all I want to do each day is attack the vending maching - to help make my day better. There is a part of me that KNOWS that eating chocolate will not make my job any different but there is also a part of me that wants the comfort of chocolate to get through the day. I am bored with what I am doing and the only way I know to get around this is to eat chocolate. The good thing is that so far I have managed to curb these wants and occasionally have one of those little mini chocolates - that is better than nothing at all.

Today I have not reached my 10,000 steps but my goal is to reach 10,000 5 days a week - I know that Monday is not a good day for us to exercise much. After work we can do a little bit of something before it is time to go to yoga. Today we picked up the bikes from getting serviced - it was like getting a new bike again !!! - and then cycled for about 40-45mins before screaming home to change and get to yoga. While 5,500 steps is not a fantastic effort, along with the ride and yoga I am happy that I have made the best effort I could with the time I had available.

Tomorrow morning I am taking A to get a skin cancer cut out of his leg. I am really annoyed about this because 4yrs ago when he first had this sore on his leg that wouldn't heal I asked him to go and get it checked out but he didn't until last week and now it is an invasive type of cancer and there is a lump which has already formed under the skin. The problem now is that because they have to cut it out and it is on the front of his shin, there isn't much excess skin to be able to pull together to stitch up so there is a good possibility that he will have to have a skin graft - all because he didn't go and get it checked out when I said - or on any other occasion between then and now when he has been to the doctor about any other problem !!! Men - sometimes you have to just wonder why they don't listen ?????

Other that that - today has been a good day. Managed to fight off the sugar cravings with a little crunchie and some sugar free chewing gum (something that I never eat but thought it would be better than the big chocolate that I really wanted !!!).

TFTD : One of the best ways to realise that age is an illusion is to have your body get older and realise that you are who you have always been.

Another Sunday gone !

2010-03-28T20:11:00.000+10:00

We had a great day today. K had to go to work and we needed a prescription filled at the chemist so cycled into Southport to the Discount Pharmacy there. All up probably about an hours cycle there and back except we didn't come home, we dropped our bikes off at the bicycle shop to get serviced and walked home (about 3,100 steps). A has a thought that we should do the Wilson Brisbane to Gold Coast cycle in October - I am not so sure about this but he has turned into a fitness fanatic and is very keen on the idea !!!! We will have to do a lot more hill and stamina work before we can even consider this but it is something we can work towards in the meantime (maybe we could do it next year ??????) Can I make him wait that long ? Can he wait that long ?

Anyway, got home and had our morning snack - they have a really yummy Greek yoghurt - it is just the best although unfortunately, it is never enough - the little punnet they send has to be eaten with a teaspoon otherwise it is finished in about three dessert spoons !!!

Then we took the puppies - oh yes, Happy 1st Birthday Alfie - so I think he is officially a dog and not a puppy anymore - for a walk to Paradise Point. Got back from there with just over 11,000 steps completed. Had lunch and a shower and then went to look for a birthday present for a friend, came home and did the last load of washing before watching a tape of Gray's from last week.

It's amazing how our bodies change and tell us what they want - yes I know sometimes mine is screaming "Give me chocolate, give me biscuits" - but I am talking about once you start to exercise how those endorphins kick it and just make you want to exercise even more. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would, on a Saturday night when A is working and K is baby-sitting, go out walking because I haven't done enough steps for the day. Normally it would be - kick back on the beanbag, with something to drink and nibble on and there I would stay until someone came home and interrupted me !!!!!! I just love that my body so wants to do all this exercise that it is no longer a chore but rather something that I want to do because I can see the benefits of doing it. My clothes are fitting me better - my wardrobe is growing by the week as I get into clothes that I haven't worn since I don't know when - it is sooooooooo cool ! (to borrow an overused word from K !)

I will finish the day with over 13,000 steps (am I allowed to carry those over to tomorrow night because that is going to be the one day of the week when I will battle to hit 10,000 steps ???) but seeing as my goal is to have 10,000 for at least 5 of the 7 days of the week, I'll be OK and won't beat myself up because I am not making 7/7 days - sometimes other things just have to be done. Monday night is yoga night and one of my favourite nights of the week because generally after yoga, I sleep soooooooooo well !!!!

Have a great week everyone - take care and go safely !

TFTD : Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body - Cicero

Back and blogging again !

2010-03-27T20:11:00.000+10:00

I feel that it has come time for me to start blogging again - to keep the motivation that I have going and to be able to document what I am doing right (and what I am doing not that well) so that I can track how I am going and where I can make things better.

As we all have in the past, my weight got out of control - I kept on saying "When I get to xxkg, I will do something about it" and that number just kept on going up and up and up until I got the point where even my fat clothes were getting too tight for me. We were not in a position for me to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe so something else had to happen.

Dear A saw the light and realised that we were both grossly overweight and got interested in losing weight - the first time in the 24years that we have been together. Needless to say I jumped at the chance and we embarked on Lite 'n Easy which as you may, or may not know, is not a cheap program to do. Yes, I probably could have gone back to WW but at that point in time, being so time poor, I just knew that it was not an option. So we joined - all three of us - and it is probably one of the best decisions we have made.

It is so much easier when we are all watching what we are eating and asking "How many calories is in that ?" "What ? How many did you say ?" - when it is something we probably would have eaten more than one of in a sitting before this journey !!! It has brought A's blood pressure down into a normal range and he is off for a cholestrol test next week to see how that is faring - I so hope that it is down - just another good reason for him to watch what he is eating !

Although we get the food already prepared, there are still times when it is difficult but the amount of time that it has freed up for us is mind boggling - hence the ability to do all the exercise that we have been doing. A has turned into a fitness fanatic and, while I am not as bad as him, I certainly am so much more motivated to exercise than I have been for a long time. I think the last time I was this motivated to exercise - and it was mainly walking - was when I was unemployed before I got this contract at the Council.

Anyway, I am going to try to blog regularly because it helps me to put down on paper (screen ?) how things have been during the day and then be able to read back afterwards and see - oh yes, lots happening then - not such good losses or, this is what worked previously maybe I need to try it again.

Like before, this is not going to be an earth shattering blog - just my journey to getting fit and into a healthy weight range !

Take care and go safely !

TFTD : Never give up your quest to find true love - starting with loving yourself.

An update before the next operation

2009-08-20T21:22:00.002+10:00

I can't believe that the last time I posted was the day after the operation. Unfortunately the excellent vision that I had on the day after the operation has deteriorated - still 100 times better than I was before the operation but not as good as it was on the day after. Surgeon said that this sometimes does happen. He is disappointed with how my eye accepted the lens - from a health point of view my eye is in excellent condition but according to the measurements / machine reading etc - it should have come out at -.5 but it actually came out at -1.5. Not bad - but not as good as he wanted. Now the trick with the right eye is guessing whether it will behave the same way. He is aiming to get as close to 0 as possible which will mean that I will have good reading vision in my left eye and good distance vision in my right eye and my brain should be able to work them together so that I have good all round vision.

I was talking to my folks today and my Dad was worried that he had talked me into the operations - I said that he mustn't worry because I have never thought "Geez - this was a mistake" because at the moment, I am still better off than I was before the op. I think that maybe they didn't notice how long it took for their eyes to settle down because they aren't working in an office on a computer and with paperwork all day long - that is where it gets tricky because my left eye focuses at about 80cm and my right eye at 40-50cm and my brain isn't adjusting very well !!!! I know I just need to BE PATIENT but it is not a quality that I possess in any great volume !!

This time I am going to take the time suggested off work because I have realised that going back to work a week earlier than they suggest is not the smartest thing I ever did !!! And maybe that has hindered the recovery of my eye - will see how the right eye behaves next week. A has decided to take the whole week off with me so that will be good - I will even have my own driver !!!! It is Gold Coast show day the day after the op so he doesn't have to take any time off to drive me to the surgeon that day.

Once this eye is done I am going to turn my focus onto the real issue - our health - losing weight and getting fit and healthy. A friend of ours - not much older than A - and a lot fitter and slimmer - had a stroke about 6 weeks ago. We went to see him on the way up the Sunshine Coast on Friday and he was better and worse than I expected - he was better in that he recognised us straight away, carried out conversations and asked about K, spoke about people he and A had worked with in SA and worse in how much weight he had lost and to see how little control he had over his right leg - left side paralysed - so sad. We are going to see how things are on Sunday and take his wife out to lunch and then spend some time with him as he has been moved from Brisbane to Redcliffe (I think that is where he is now). That was a real wake up call for me and for A and at the back of my head, I keep thinking of G and realising that unless I do something to change how unhealthy I am - I could land up like him.

I guess I really have to get focussed - think about what I want to achieve and then work out a plan on how I am going to achieve it. It shouldn't be hard - I have done it so many times - I have to find what is going to work to get me motivated to do what I know I need to do - do what I have done so many times before - do what needs to be done to get me healthy and fit. Who has some motivation they can bottle up and send to me ? Or a seed that I can plant and grow some of my own ? I really don't mind sharing once I have it - I just need to somehow find a way to get it. I need a light bulb moment of ginormous size !

K's formal is in 3 weeks time and I am embarrassed to have to go at the weight that I am - those pictures are going to be around forever and I will be in them - like a whale - feeling awful about myself - not only am I obesely overweight but I can't even wear any make-up because I can't touch my eye that would have been operated on only 2 weeks prior ! The poor child - probably won't want any photos with me in them - and I can't say that I blame her.

We have started walking in the evenings as I am once again doing letter box drops for the business. While I am not happy working at council - it has certainly been good for business - the referral system around there is fantastic - not enough to let me pack in my day job (or even our night jobs) but certainly enough to keep the coffers ticking over - and for that I will always be grateful for the opportunity to work at council. Other than that I will probably leave there bald because everyday there is someone else who does something totally unbelievable - a decision that is made that is just beyond belief - and at times like these I feel like pulling another few hairs out - just now it will all be gone !!!

I will try to be back more frequently to post - and to get some inspiration as I, once again, try to get rid of these pesky kilos that seem to just sneak up without me knowing about them until one day BAM there they are and they don't want to be shifted !!! If only the BAM would work in shifting kilos the way they say it shifts grime and grease !

TFTD - Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.

A success

2009-07-31T20:01:00.002+10:00

I am so pleased to say that the operation yesterday was a success. The surgeon is over the moon at the results (as am I) - at this stage it looks like I won't need glasses at all.

I landed up having to have a general anaesthetic as my eye was too long for him to get the needle behind it to do it with a local but that was OK - with the general there was less chance of me moving and therefore less chance of me making the surgeon make a mistake.

It has been a bit scratchy and achey today but I guess that is to be expected - he said that he hasn't put any stitches in it so I have to be really careful about not touching it at all - no bending forward, no heavy lifting, no sneezing and holding my nose (this one is going to be the hardest - it is just about impossible for me to sneeze and not hold my nose so now I am rubbing my nose every time I feel a sneeze coming on so that I don't have to 'open' sneeze !!!).

I spent a fair bit of yesterday afternoon sleeping and had another sleep this afternoon - made up for the bad sleep I had last night - it is so hard to only sleep on one side but was too difficult trying to sleep with the shield on the other side. I have to sleep with the shield for a week to protect against any involuntary rubbing, elbows to the eye, scratching etc - will see how that goes - definitely not looking forward to it although a small price to pay for the trade off of not having to wear glasses again !!!!

On that note, I am off to rest my eye - I don't want to make it feel worse if I don't have to.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

Today's the day

2009-07-30T06:43:00.001+10:00

I got up this morning and made a chicken casserole to go in the slow cooker today. I am starting to get really nervous now - what if this is the last time I see the computer - maybe that is a little melodramatic because, at worst I will be able to see with my right eye so maybe I shouldn't be as nervous as I am. Even if, heaven forbid, something does go wrong today, my right eye is the better of the two so I won't be completely blind - I will just have lost my depth perception. BUT, I am going to be positive and confident that I am going to walk out of there and be able to see absolutely fine when they take the patch off tomorrow morning.

On that note, I am off to have a shower and get changed and then get my last bit of reading in for a couple of days. Watching TV has just become my favourite past time !

Take care everyone and have a wonderful Thursday !

Who would have thought

2009-07-24T22:17:00.002+10:00

it would be such a long time between posts ????? I definitely didn't realise just how long it had been since I had been on here - needless to say, heaps has happened and I probably wouldn't remember exactly what so will try to do a quick recap.

I started a 4 month contract job with the local city council a couple of weeks into March - I am still there and bored out of my brain. But, for now the hours are good and I can pretty much come and go as I please, am more or less my own boss and MOST IMPORTANTLY there isn't anything else out there, so I will stay until something else comes up.

K got her drivers licence at the beginning of June - what a relief and what a help it has been. She is very willing to go and pick up things or drop things off - I left my work access card at home two mornings not too long after she got her licence and was able to catch her before she left to go to school and got her to drop it with me each time - that was a relief because I couldn't get in and out for the day (without having to wait for someone going the same way as me) without it.

K and I have both been sick lately - bloody head cold and stupid cough - still, bad enough to lay us up for over a week. This didn't help with getting my clinic hours completed but I couldn't exactly go in and treat clients while coughing and spluttering all over them. Have managed to get sufficient hours anyway - last 4 treatments on Sunday and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. Finally, my diploma finished and life can return to some sort of normalcy (whatever that may be in our household!!!!). Now I have to get two character references, copies of a whole bunch of certificates and qualifications and then I can send them off to become registered with the health funds so that people will be able to claim from their health funds when they have had a treatment.

It was my birthday earlier this week and Al and I took the day off - mainly because I had to go for the pre-op for next week (that took about 1 1/2 hrs) and then we had parent teacher interviews in the afternoon for another hour and a bit - so really not worth going back and forth to work. It was just lovely and was have promised to take either one birthday or our anniversary off every year and spend it together. We had a leisurely start to the day - banana and strawberry pancakes - K was not amused at having to go to school while we stayed at home !!! Read for a while and then off for pre-op - then to Australia Fair for lunch - then to school for interviews and then home before going out to dinner and off to Max Brenner for dessert - all in all a fantastic day !

Last week I had a client in for a hot stone massage - she liked it so much she wanted to book for next Saturday but I had to put her off until the following week because I wasn't sure how well my eye would stand up after the surgery on Thursday. She got to work on Monday and I received a phone call at about 10am - "This is B. S is here with me and I want what she had on Saturday" - I put the phone day and just laughed - it was so funny the way it came out. Anyway, B is booked in for her hot stone massage tomorrow. They really are so good in winter - the best way to relax and unwind and be good to your body and soul.

I can't wait for next weekend when I don't have to get up on Sunday and go to lectures or clinic - it really has been quite hard on the whole family but they have been really good about it. A has been just amazing - keeping the household running while still holding down two jobs. We have taken August off from our night job and are both so looking forward to some down time - not sure if we will know what to do with ourselves but I am wanting to start exercising and he needs to as well. A close friend of ours had two strokes a few weeks ago and it really gave us both a very loud wake up call - although we haven't done much about it since then because I always said that I would worry about food and exercise once lectures were finished. Well they are nearly finished and it is time to get serious about getting these excess kilos off and living a healthier lifestyle.

That's it for now - am off to have an early night - the problem is my body is only used to 4-5hrs of sleep a night so when I go to bed too early, I wake up too early. Suppose I can always get up and go for a walk except it is still a little too chilly in the morning for my liking - maybe I will read for a while !

Take care and have a fantastic weeked everyone !

TFTD : Every exit is an entry to somewhere else.

What's news ?

2009-03-26T21:36:00.002+10:00

I don't actually have a whole heap of news since last posting - life is too hectic but not really much to say !!!

I did lose another 0.5 this week taking my total loss since 5 Jan 09 to 7.1 - gotta be happy with that.

My walking has taken a back seat this week - much to my horror. I REALLY miss not walking each day but sometimes it is just too hard to try to fit it in.

Saturday I spent a lot of time studying for two exams on Sunday - my own fault for not having picked up a book prior to the day before the exams !!!! The good thing was I passed both of them so was very happy about that. Can't remember what happened on Monday except that when Al got in from work we landed up talking until about 2am when I finally said "Can you please keep quiet I have to go to sleep".
Tuesday night I got home from lectures about 9.30 - totally knackered from so little sleep the night before - and HAD to make banana bread because the bananas were just about ready to walk out the door by themselves they were that frot !!! Wednesday night I had my massage swop but after that I had to go and do the shopping and when I got home - just after 9pm again - I made a cheesecake for the dinner we are having tomorrow night for some friends of ours.

Tonight I am home - am just about to have some dinner and then I am going to have a shower and sit and watch Grey's and do some knitting - if Al is lucky I may even still be awake when he gets home from work !!!

Work is a bit of a nightmare - I KNOW I said I would never work the hours that I used to work at the hospital and, while they aren't that bad, I am doing about 50 hr weeks - the upside to that is, as a contractor, I get paid for all 50 odd hours that I work - SO, it does make it worthwhile for me to put in the time especially as we got into a bit of a financial pickle when I didn't work for nearly 4 months. This whole week I have felt like a real dunce at work - not because the work is rocket science but because I don't know the stupid council processes which are supposed to happen (of course none of them are written down either). This afternoon the one guy, who has been really good about helping me where he can, said "Thanks so much for all that you have done today (we had a big deadline to meet by COB today) - we would never have made it if you weren't here" - so that was good. I said to him "So I don't need to go and sit in the road with a witches hat on my head ?" and he just laughed and said no I didn't need to - earlier on in the week when I was really battling I had said to him that I thought I would be more productive for the council if I went and sat in the road with a witches hat on my head and at least I would stop traffic from going where it shouldn't go !!!! Anyway, I felt a little better when I left this evening to go to lectures - the fact that I woke up at about 3.30 and didn't go back to sleep worrying about whether I would make the deadline or not was besides the point !!!! The countdown to the end of my contract has begun - he laughed when I told him that today because he has been working for the council for about 30 odd years !!!!!

OK - it is now 9.45 and I am off to have some dinner, a shower and then some time in front of the Tv with my knitting.

Take care everyone and until next time - go safely !

Thought for the day : How many a man (or woman)has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success ?

A funny thing ....

2009-03-18T22:07:00.003+10:00

happened tonight. I had decided that I was going to walk after seeing my client and having dinner (I decided that at the beginning of the week). While I was chatting to my client before she left, I remembered the second 1500 flyers which had arrived that hadn't been delivered yet, so decided that I would kill two birds with one stone and deliver while I walked (it does slow me down a little but that's OK).

I left home at about 8.40pm - I don't think any of my South African friends read this but they would not believe that I can go walking around my neighbourhood at that time of the night and still be safe - that amused me for a while !!!

Now, the thing with delivering at night is - it isn't that easy to actually see where the post box is - especially when there is dodgy street lighting (blast the council for not replacing blown light bulbs in the street lights !!!). Then, when I am lucky enough to find the post box, the next trick is trying to see if there is a No Junk Mail sticker on it - again, not that easy when there is no light as my eyesight is shot at the best of times. Then if I manage to decipher that there isn't a No Junk Mail sticker - I have to work out do I lift the lid, drop it in or push open the flap to the post box it get the flyer in there. Of course this can only happen after I have bumbled my way along the grass verge - nearly twisting my ankle in the pesky holes that seem to abound at night time (I am sure they aren't there when I walk that way during the day). In the meantime I have managed to trip over uneven pavements and driveway edges all the while looking to see if I can see an elusive post box ! Some people are very accomodating and have sensor lights - the only trouble is that I nearly died of fright every time one of the bloody lights switched on. And, because there are dog lovers amongst my readers (yes, I know you are reading Kathy !!!), I won't mention what I thought of the dogs who barked and scared the cr*p out of me as I walked up their driveway !!!!!

All in all - about 140 people will take my flyer out their post box tomorrow and read about what I have to offer - maybe someone will phone to book an appointment or maybe they will tuck the flyer away and think about phoning at another time when they have more disposable income or more time on their hands. But, as long as I am out there telling people about what I have to offer, I have done what I can for now to promote my business.

This is a little philosophical but while I was walking I was thinking about how my weight loss journey has been a little like delivering the flyers at night - there have been things along the way which have tripped me up but I have had to just keep going - doing the best that I can. And, there have been those moments, like walking up the driveway and have the sensor lights turn on, where the light has turned on for me and I have realised that something I was or wasn't doing, was or wasn't helping me in my weight loss e.g. last year when I was at lectures, I very rarely ate dinner when I got home - I may have eaten a box of biscuits or a packet of chips or picked up some chips and a milkshake on the way home but I can think of maybe a hand full of occasions when I sat down and ate a meal. This year I have realised that if I don't eat a meal when I get home, I am not doing myself any favours and that hard work that I put in the rest of the day in terms of what I am eating and the exercise I am getting, is just going to waste because by not eating any dinner, I am just messing my body around and it won't like me for doing that.

Maybe I should continue to deliver flyers at night - maybe I will do some more thinking and come up with some amazing theories on things I didn't know I knew !!!

Have a great day everyone and take care !

Thought for the day: A good way to repay a kindness is to pass it on.

How to cope ?

2009-03-16T20:39:00.002+10:00

OK - this is my problem right now (and for the next 4 months) - not only am I working full time (which I am totally happy about) - but I also work part time two or three evenings a week at Coles, study two nights a week and all day Sunday for my diploma, am busy setting up a business called The Body and Feet Retreat, work casual hours at a local day spa and need to find time to exercise and keep myself healthy - oh yes, I forgot about being a wife, mother, daughter, lover, chief cook and bottle washer, laundress and home cleaner. I am going to have to make sure that I am super, super organised otherwise it is all going to fall down around me like a pack of cards.

I can always give up the casual hours but there aren't that many of them and I do feel sorry for the owners of the spa - I can only do those on a Saturday. I have two big exams on Sunday and need to get some serious studying done this week - not sure when, but sometime.

Tonight I was going to come home from work, go for a walk and then come home and study. Well, a huge storm hit the Gold Coast and I drove home (an hour later than normal because we had a last minute rush job that had to be done) in the pouring rain - only to find when I got home that we had no electricity. So, the pork roast which we were going to have last night and couldn't (because we got home from cycling and exercising on the council gym equipment too late and would have been eating at 9pm) didn't get cooked tonight because of the rain. No problem, I had made a curry in the slow cooker last night we can have that - not so fast, when we decided on that plan for dinner, the electricity hadn't been taken out - so when the electricity went off, we landed up with pizza for dinner. Not my first choice but given the circumstances of pouring rain, no electricity and us fiddle faddling around wondering how long it would be before it came on again - pizza was the best course of action. Plus Al had to get to work.

I have accepted that sometimes you have to just do the best you can in the circumstances and tonight was one of those circumstances !!!!

Now I am off to log my weekly weigh in (I think I am down from last week but can't remember what I was last week !!!) and then I am going to hit the books for a couple of hours.

Take care everyone and have a great day ! I hope that Victoria is getting some of this rain as well.

Thought for the day : Life is a drawing board, sketch your own scenes.

All things come ...

2009-03-09T20:27:00.003+10:00

to those who wait. The only problem is knowing you long you have to wait for the thing to come !!!!

Well today it came for me - a job offer that is !!!!! I went for an interview this morning and they rang to offer me the job this afternoon - WOOOHOOOOOOOOO !!! Now the money is not flash but hey, not flash money is better than no money.

I am so excited - since I got home from signing all the paperwork I have been saying to Al - guess what, I'm going to work tomorrow. And then again 30 mins later - am sure he was happy to go to work tonight just so he didn't have to listen to me say it anymore !!!!

The role has a fancy title - Directorate Management Accountant - but really it is just a budget controller position for 7 departments and the director. It sounds like it is quite busy as it is a one person role i.e. I am responsible for all 8 budgets, variance analysis, new budgets and budget revisions but it should be good.

It is only a 4 month contract but hey, who knows what will happen in four months and this employer is probably one of the largest on the coast and so there is a good possibility that it may turn into a permanent role down the track. Will wait to see what happens with it but for now I am just so relieved that I will be generating income on a regular basis.

Weight wise I was down another 0.6 this week taking my total weight loss since 5th January 09 to 6kg - am very happy with that and hopefully will be able to organise my lunch and snacks so that I don't start to undo the hard work I have put in so far this year.

Kaitlin told me today that they are looking to have their formal at the Q1 building (thank goodness on the 2nd floor - I wouldn't have been able to go if it was on the top floor where they often hold functions) and I so don't want to embarrass her by being overweight and not having something nice to wear when we go to the before drinks.

OK - better get going - have heaps to sort out as I need to get all my lecture notes together as well as I will be going to lectures straight from work (that just sounds so cool to my ears tonight !!!!) - I am sure in a few months time I will be saying "Gosh it would be nice to have a break" - but until then I am going to enjoy every morning of having to get up and go to work !

Have a fantastic day everyone !!!

Thought for the day : Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.

Thanks but no thanks ...

2009-03-03T14:38:00.002+10:00

was the e-mail that I got yesterday advising that I had been short listed for a role I applied for and then the current encumbent withdrew their resignation - bugger !!! Or maybe that is just that company's way of saying thanks but no thanks without hurting your feelings !!!!

I have updated my CV recently - one of my clients worked in a employment agency and as an HR manager and she helped me to revamp it which was great. Lately there haven't even been any jobs that I can apply for - I haven't done company tax and a lot of positions going at the moment require that skill so it is just a case of being patient until something good comes along.

I need to call the employment agent re a job with a marketing company as I am sure that they must have decided who is on a short list for the client by now - I applied last Saturday !!!!

My latest flyers arrived yesterday so I have been doing the delivery rounds again. It was funny because I had been uhmming and aahing about whether to order more flyers because of the cost involved but I know that if I don't advetise, new clients are that much harder to come by. In the end we decided to bite the bullet and order 1500 flyers - there was a special if you spent over $50 you got free delivery in 9 days. This would normally cost me in the region of $80 for a 21 day delivery time so it was a really good deal. Ordered them and they should have arrived on Thursday according to when they were despatched. No flyers Thursday, no flyers Friday - so Friday night I e-mailed them asking them if they could please track where my parcel was. I received a reply from them the next day advising that they were sending a repeat order to me and if mine arrived in the meantime to accept the second order with their compliments !!!! So, at the end of the week I should receive another 1500 flyers - bugger - that is a lot of walking but boy is that a good deal - 3000 flyers for the price of 1500 !!!!! YAY - something in our favour !!!!!

My eating continues to be good - not much else it can be when there is a lack of funds !!! I have tried two new recipes this week so that was good. My walking is still happening every day although I do have a rest day during the week where I don't actually go out for a walk but try to walk around a shopping centre for a while so that I can make my steps for the day without pushing myself too hard. This week saw a loss of 0.9 taking my total loss since 05.01.09 to 5.4kg. I can definitely notice a difference although I haven't measured myself at all since putting all this weight on - only another 20kgs to go !!!!!! This morning after spin class I was waiting for the lift to the car park and the lift doors were mirrors and that was when I really noticed how much I had lost - my hips are not as big as they used to be which is just great !

Well I am off to have a shower and then get K from school before coming home and heading off to lectures. You are right Mary, it makes such a difference studying with people who actually want to study - nothing like when I did my degree (even though I was a mature age student then !!!) - the class was made up of kids straight out of school who were told they had to go and do something and they just messed around in every class - soooooooooo annoying !!!

Take care everyone and have a great week !

Thought for the day : You never know what happiness a simple act of kindness will bring about.

Still hanging around

2009-02-26T09:20:00.002+10:00

Well I haven't blogged for a while because there really isn't much to blog about. I have been sending off resumes left, right and centre and hearing nothing back - nada, zilch, zero, absolutely bugger all from either the companies I applied to or the bloody employment agents which I think just stinks - they least they could do is mail you saying that they have received it and will get back to you in due course or you are over qualified / under qualified / something / anything, but no, they don't say a damn thing.

I have been doing lots of walking which has been good - mixing up shorter walk days with longer walk days. This had meant that the twinge that I get in my right thigh doesn't get strained by having two days of long walks one after the other.

Lectures started again on Tuesday night so need to do some work this afternoon for lectures tonight plus I think I will need a little nap as I had a Coles shift at 4.30am so was up just before 4am - lectures finish at 9pm so it is going to be long day if I don't manage a nap !!!

My weight is moving in the right direction which is great - it is coming off slowly but that is OK - at least I can see it moving on the scales and on clothes that I have been wearing (not that I wear much - pair of denim shorts and a couple of shirts) - I am too light for the last lot of denims I bought when I put on so much weight over Christmas but not light enough for what used to be my normal jeans - need to lose a few more kilos before they will fit !!!

OK - I am off for my walk for today - it will be a longer one provided it doesn't get too hot and I have to cut it short because I have run out of cordial and can't carry on !!!!

Have a great day and take care.

Thought for the day : By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Another day looking for a job !

2009-02-16T23:03:00.002+10:00

Week 13 of my forced holiday has begun and I seem to be no closer to finding a job now than I was 13 weeks ago !! I know that something will come up and I know that I have to stay positive but it is getting harder and harder each day.

Today was good - I had a phone call on the weekend from a local day spa asking if I would like to do 2 massages today and of course I said yes thank you !!! I got there and was really nervous which is a little silly I guess given how many massages I have given to people I have never met before. Anyway, I figure that neither of my clients went to the owners to say that I had done a dreadful job because they have asked me if I could work on Thursday and Saturday - YAY some income to help pay the mortgage ! It seems to me as if my life now revolves around what I can do in order to get some money to pay the mortgage - how sad is that ????

Anyway, I got in a great walk before I had to be at the spa which was good. Tomorrow I have spin class at 6.45am and then will be dropping K at school and coming home for another walk before having to go and meet someone about an hours drive away.

Tomorrow night I have my reciprocal treatment for the lady who gave me a really high recommendation at the spa. This is the last week of loafing around before my lectures start again - part of me wants to get started so that I can get finished and part of me doesn't want to have to go back to slogging away on the books. I think I am really going to miss my Sunday's the most - lectures from 9.30-4.30 doesn't sound like a fun way to spend Sunday BUT the payoff is that I finish my Diploma in 5 months rather than 11 months so I am looking at the short term inconvenience compared to the long term benefits ! Please remind me of this if I start to complain about lectures on Sundays !!!!!

I have started knitting a blanket for the bushfire victims - hopefully it won't take me too long to finish as I would hate for winter to have come and gone and me still be busy knitting !!! I started it last night - luckily last night and tonight the weather has been a little cooler otherwise not sure I would have managed to get too much knitting done.

OK - am off to make lunches for tomorrow as we have spin class first up and definitely no time in the morning to worry about lunches !!!

Take care and have a great day everyone !

Thought for the day :Kindness is more important than wisdom and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom

Second post today - Do you want a laugh ??

2009-02-13T13:23:00.000+10:00

Well this may not appeal to everyone’s sense of humour but it appealed to mine because if I didn’t laugh I don’t know what I would have done !

I never thought I would get to the point where exercise became such an important part of my day – whether it will be the same when I am working I don’t know. But, I got home from doing my big shop at Coles and it had stopped raining so got changed and set out with my water bottle and brolly. I was probably about 500m from home when it started to pitter patter – not much but enough to put the brolly up so my glasses didn’t get wet,

Within about 400m my arms had had the biggest workout trying to hold the brolly in front of me – picture a 5’7”, 25kgs over weight woman, walking down a main road trying to hold a brolly in front of her against (what felt like) gale force winds. At this point I probably should have turned around and gone home but I didn’t ! Said wind doing it’s level best to blow up my loose fitting singlet to expose my white blubbery belly to all and sundry driving past. On the other hand, I am doing my best to keep the brolly right side up, hanging onto my water bottle and pulling my singlet down each time it blew up. I also have to keep lifting the brolly to make sure I am not going to walk into any poles or people (thinking about it now, why I thought anyone else would be daft enough to walk in this weather I’m not sure !!)

Turn the corner out of the wind tunnel, only to be caught in a tunnel slightly less windy – the challenge on this road was that the wind was blowing in more than one direction !!! And, of course, blowing harder and harder. I managed to negotiate this road and turn into one slightly more protected EXCEPT the golf umbrella I am using is really only designed for pitter patter rain – not the heavy downpour I find myself in. Thus, the very item I took to stop me getting anything on my glasses has turned into the very thing dripping water onto them !!!!

The trick now becomes negotiating driveways which are painted – damn, do people not consider walkers in the rain when they paint their driveways ????? Once I was sure it wasn’t a painted driveway that was going to make me see my a** when I slipped, I had to negotiate my way through the streams of water running down each driveway because my little stumpies are no long enough to make the jump across the driveway.

This is when it starts to get really funny because the rain has cooled things down very nicely, I on the other hand, have started to get really hot – so, what happens when heat meets cold – steam occurs – on my glasses !!!!!! By now I am just about p**ing my pants I am laughing so much. I have since turned into another relatively protected road and decide that I should skull my water as it is getting too hard to hold onto the water bottle and the brolly – so I do this and, as fate would have it, there are no rubbish bins on hand !!!! But, at least it is lighter to hold now that it is empty.

Up comes to final turn to take me home – BUT, that is back into the wind tunnel !!! So after turning the corner and nearly walking into another poor soul out in this awful weather, I take the brolly down and just walk in the rain !! The next challenge is seeing out of eyes getting stung with the rain falling behind my glasses and having to look through lenses which are just a mass of rain drops. So I get to a road and a car is turning – I gesture for him to go, he obviously sees me without a brolly and, I think, is gesturing for me to go but I am not sure because I can’t see that well, so I gesture back, and then both he and his passenger gesture for me to go so across I run (well as fast as I can run) to the other side of the pavement. By now not only am I soaking wet but my hair has been blown out of the clips holding it back so on top of everything else I have my hair hanging in my face and adding to the drips on my glasses !!!

I got home, took my shoes and socks off and gingerly walk across all the tiles to the laundry where everything went into the machine before I went and had a shower. But, now I know I can curl up on the couch and either watch some TV or read my book and not feel guilty because I haven’t been for a walk today. And now my glasses are all clean and I see again – this makes me really happy !!!

A veg out day

2009-02-13T09:27:00.002+10:00

That was yesterday and it wasn't supposed to be like that today but if this weather continues it may land up being another veg out day ALTHOUGH I have a plan if I can't go walking. I am going to do some Swiss ball work and a Pilates video (well that is the plan but of course, as we all know, the best laid plans of mice and men .....)

I did absolutely nothing yesterday except take K to school, come home, do some washing and then spend the rest of the day on the couch watching shows I had taped that I haven't had a chance to see. Then it was time to get K from school, came home and read for a while until it was time for a client and I had to get the therapy room ready.

Thank goodness there was enough left over paella from the previous night otherwise not sure what we would have landed up having for dinner. After dinner it was time for a quick shower and then off to Coles for another 4 hrs - sometimes that 4 hrs seems to take about 8hrs and other times it feels like I have only just got there and it is time to leave. The pay cheque from them this week will be good because I will have had 4 shifts by the end of the week - YAY - the mortgage can get paid !!!!!

Well I have decided on Diet Coke chicken for dinner tonight with some roasted veggies so am off to do as much of a big shop as I can afford at Coles and help the Victorian Bushfire victims.

Of course there is the deciding ODI tonight but unless the weather improves dramatically, there is going to be no cricket - unless of course the weather in Brisbane is fantastically wonderful and it is only on the Gold Coast that we have this cr*ppy rain which is really not needed here as much as it is needed in Victoria - damn you, move south and do some good !!!!

On that note I am off to make up my shoppping list and then hit the shops and hope that everyone else hasn't got the same idea as me !!! Given how much stock came in last night I think they are expecting a real run on the stores today - I hope that the rain isn't keeping people away - I would much rather the profits go to the fire victims rather than the Coles shareholders !!!!

Have a great day everyone and a fantastic weekend !

Thought for the day : One of the greatest lessons in life is to learn not to do what you like, but to like what you do.

Not successful - bugger !!!

2009-02-11T09:10:00.002+10:00

I e-mailed re the job interview yesterday and got a reply last night saying that they had appointed someone yesterday - bugger !!!! Not so much because that was the job I wanted - just because it was a chance for me to get a job in order to be able to earn some money and I didn't get the job. At the end of the day, it isn't as though it was my dream job or anything so am patiently waiting for something else to come up.

There were no accounting jobs on seek this morning but I am off just now to get the paper, generally there are more jobs advertised on Wednesday and Saturday in the Bulletin, to see if there is anything in there that I can apply for.

I am off to skip for a while as I want to wait for the washing to finish before I go for my walk this morning - not sure that it is going to be a long walk today, my legs are feeling a little tight and my lower back is aching a little. Think it may be as a result of the spin class but don't want to over-do it any day so that I can't walk the next day. My blister is just about gone and I am sure that a few more days of walking with a plaster on my toe will see it fine again.

I finally got around to popping to the dr's rooms to make an appoinment for tomorrow for my 2 yearly pap smear - I hate having it done with an absolute passion and generally reward myself once I have had it done - not sure what my reward will be this year as it is normally some form of food source (and not a good food source like fruit !!!)

After showing a dreadful gain on Monday morning, the scales arenow showing that I have lost all of that plus a smidgen more by this morning - go figure !!! I can see why they say you shouldn't weigh yourself every day because it can do your head in but I just can't get out of the habit especially when I am trying so hard. I think if I hadn't of got on this morning and seen that I was below my weight from last weeks weigh-in, the left over tin of caramel topping from Christmas, which I managed to resist yesterday, may not have been so lucky today and there is a good chance it would have been devoured - probably not in one sitting, but certainly over the course of the day and the tin hidden in the bottom of the bin so nobody would know what I had done !!!! Because, as we all know, what we eat in secret doesn't actually show up anywhere, does it ?????? LOL

Well this isn't getting my skipping done so I will be off to do that before hanging the washing out and getting out to pound the pavements. Thank goodness K showed me how to change the songs on my iPod as I was getting really tired of listening to the same songs each time I went out (well I don't hear the same ones each time I go out but they do seem to come around rather regularly when you are out there listening every day !!!)

Take care and have a great day everyone !

Thought for the day : No state of mind is permanent unless we choose to make it so.

Time ???

2009-02-10T13:03:00.003+10:00

Where has the time gone to - it's nearly a week since I posted but it feels like it was only a couple of days ago !!!

Thursday I did a massive walk having eating a kid's size gelato and two sticks of chocolate liquorice the day before. This left me with a massive blister on my little toe - almost the same size as my toe so Friday was my take it easy day. I still managed to get over 8000 steps for the day without actually going on a walk so that was good.

Saturday saw A and I head off to Brisbane for our 'night on the town' (courtesy of his boss' who gave us all of this for Christmas) - we went and saw the show Candy Man on Saturday afternoon, then a stroll along South Bank before hitting Ahmets Turkish restaurant for dinner - what a lovely evening it was - we had never had Turkish food before and thoroughly enjoyed what we had. Another walk along South Bank and a trip on the City Cat up to UQ and back saw his head to our hotel for the night. A sumptuous hotel buffet breakfast was on the cards in the morning and then we left and took in some markets on the way home. We got home at about lunch time, spent a couple of hours putting a new aerial in K's car and then the rest of the afternoon in the pool before watching the cricket - thank goodness we managed to pull a win out of that game !!! Mind you we didn't see the end as we decided to go for a walk - it was so cool - it was just lovely.

Needless to say the Turkish meal and the hotel breakfast did nothing to help my weight loss endeavours but I have been walking again this week and went to my second spin class this morning - definitely fared better today than I did last week when I nearly managed to fall off a stationary bike !!!!

I have just been for a walk and am about to jump into the pool for a swim. Then it was be a minute or two ('cos that is all I can manage) of skipping before hitting the showers and then the blood bank (wonder if I will see Edward Cullen there ?????)

On the work front it is still really quiet - I did have an interview last week but haven't heard anything back from them as yet. All I can do is try to stay as positive as possible as A always says "Good things come to those who wait" - I do think he is just trying to make me feel better and don't think he actually believes that !!!!!

Have a great day and take care !

Thought for the day : Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Ramblings

2009-02-04T22:13:00.003+10:00

Well where to start - the last two days I have not walked as long as I would have liked as I had to get home and do other things - it wasn't too bad yesterday as I had the spin class but today I really wanted to go on a long walk but couldn't because I had a job interview. Definitely not complaining about having an interview given the number of CV's I have sent out. It went fine - seemed like a nice man - basically he is interviewing 12 over qualified people for the job out of over 100 applicants - and all he is looking for is the person who will best fit into the group of people who already work there - totally understand where he is coming from with that as it is a small group of people and you don't want to stuff the dynamics up.

(Margaret - yes it was a spinning class. K goes to school where the IB programme is taught and their philosphy is a very well rounded one - they encourage academic achievement, community service and sporting activities. So, Fitness First in Southport have 'adopted' the academy and are offering these free classes for students, staff and parents so figured that seeing as I am currently unemployed, able to go and getting onto such an exercise kick, I would make the most of the opportunity. They originally offered classes twice per week but after the turnout on Tuesday - 7 or 8 students and 5 parents- they have canned the second class until they get the numbers on the Tuesday class up a little)

Today was not a good day foodwise - took too long walking so didn't have time to make and eat lunch before I left for the interview. Bought a $2 sushi on my way there (and could have had lunch at home as I was too early but lots of road works on the way always makes me nervous about being late). After the interview I had a gelato and then went into Coles to get some groceries to cover my free parking and bought chocolate covered liquiorice. Scoffed that down before I even got to the shady park when I sat and read until it was time to get K from school !!!! Nothing like not even enjoying the wrong food !!! And then the guilt and regret set in - why did I do that ? I don't know. Did I need to eat it ? No. Did I savour and enjoy each mouthful ? Definitely not - so I ask again, why did I do it ? And the worst part is, I still don't know !!!! So I am going to have a peach for dinner tonight even though I made the best curry in the slow cooker - A&K had bunny chows and enjoyed every mouthful from what I can make out !!

After getting K from school, I came home and hit the books - did I need to ? No actually I didn't because they didn't ask one bloody origin or insertion point !!!!! A got home and we chatted a while before I had to leave - now I am on my way to have my peach and then have a nice soak in the bath with my book.

Tomorrow will be a better day - I will finish the housework for this week and I will go on a nice long walk. Who would have thought that I would turn into a walking junky ????? I just LOVE getting out there and clocking up the steps on my pedometer - while it was rather expensive, it is certainly very motivating to have on each day.

Thought for the day : Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help to create the fact.

Another day at home

2009-02-02T21:41:00.002+10:00

This morning we got up, went to school and when I got home it started to rain - again. So I got stuck into my books and then when the rain let up I got changed and went out for 85 mins of walking - at a really good pace. I got home and I was really happy with what I had done.

Then it was time to hit the books again before going to get K from school. She is doing really well with her driving and managed there and back without any trouble today. Got home and she quizzed me on what I had been studying and found a few things I didn't know. Then the phone call came telling me that the other lady doing the bridging course was sick and couldn't make the final assessment tonight - CR*P !!! I REALLY wanted to get it over and done with tonight !! Oh well, a couple of extra days to do some more studying AFTER I finish cleaning the house tomorrow. I did most of it last night but left the dusting and vacuming until tomorrow after my exam - can't leave it any longer the blinds and shutters really need a good dust.

This evening I caught the last of the TV programme Choir of Hard Knocks - it really made me appreciate what I do have. It made me realise that while I am feeling so down in the dumps, I have so much to be grateful for and so much to appreciate. I think that they are amazing people who have done amazing things.

I'm off to make school / work lunches for A & K as tomorrow K and I start our fitness training with Fitness First who have adopted their academy and offer two free classes per week for students, staff and their families. It is from 6.45-7.45am so it will be up and moving with no fluffing around in the morning - I think it must be a spinning class (or some such thing) as we were told to wear padded pants or bring a padded bike seat so that our 'bottoms' didn't get too sore !!!! Wonder if I will need to have a walk tomorrow as well as an hour fitness class ????

Today I did realise that while my goal is to complete at least 8000 steps per day - sometimes it is good to have a rest day - my legs really appreciated the rest they got on Saturday and I felt soooooo much better on my walk today than I did last week. The fact that I am getting so much fitter might also account for that !!!

Thought for the day : There is no failure except in no longer trying

Another day but not another dollar !

2009-01-30T11:34:00.003+10:00

This morning I woke up and thank goodness K is feeling much better. Dropped her at school, came home, replied to some e-mails and then went out for a mega walk. Stopped off at Coles to check if I was working tomorrow night - yes which is good and bad - good because I am desparate for the money, bad because it means K will be alone for the evening - not that she minds, but I mind !!! I also asked about getting trained up to be a check out chick - the lady who deals with that section fo the store is on leave until Monday so have to go back on Monday to see her - BUT, at least it may be some form of revenue coming in which will be great.

My eating has been good and my exercise has been excellent. I have been making a concerted effort to have at least one piece of fruit a day and it has been going well - actually sometimes I find it really refreshing and quite enjoy it !!!! Tonight we are having roast with dry roasted veggies so that will be good.

The Academy where K goes to school has teamed up with Fitness First and they are offering two free classes (6.45-7.45am) per week to students, staff and parents so K and I have signed up for those - they start next Tuesday. I have been told to wear padded pants or bike shorts so presume it is something to do with a bike for the one day - whatever it is, it will be good because it will get my heart rate up, get those calories burnt off and BEST OF ALL - it won't cost me a brass farthing !!!!

I am going to have a swim now and then try to get stuck into those books for this final assessment on NMT on Monday night - jeez it is hard to get back into the studying thing !! SO glad I didn't leave the Diploma for another year before doing it - don't think I would have been able to get back into the books after that long a break.

Will be flicking between the cricket and the tennis tonight - jeez I hope we do better in the cricket. I know it is a dead rubber and that we are in a re-builidng phase but come on guys, how easy can you make it for SA to win ??????? Am undecided about who I want to play Fedderer in the finals on Sunday - will see how the match goes tonight.

Take care everyone and have a great weekend !

Thought for the day : I have learnt that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time doing it.

Update : In reply to my e-mails sent out this morning asking what was happening with roles that I applied for last week, I received a job description and remuneration for one role and was asked if I would like an interview next week - one of 10 candidates contacted - so still a 1/10 chance of the job but hey, at least I got an interview which is more than I have had in the past 10 weeks since I first became unemployed !!!!! YAY !!!!!!

The universe works in strange ways

2009-01-29T09:59:00.002+10:00

I know that I said I didn't know how I was going to manage when K went back to school but I didn't expect her to get sick so that she could stay at home with me either !!!! "Universe, next time I say I don't know how I will manage - please let me find out and don't make my DD sick so that she can stay with me. Thank you"

She went to school on Tuesday (first day of year 12) even though she wasn't feeling all that flash - she drove there and did a really good job of it. I picked her up when school finished but she wasn't interested in driving home - she had a dreadful temperature. We got home, I gave her some panadol and she got straight into bed and slept through until about 6pm. Woke up and ate a little bit of dinner and then went back to sleep again. She spent the night on the mattress next to my bed and we were up and down like yo-yo's the whole time - something to drink, go to the toilet, more painkillers, change the ice packs she had on her forehead and back of neck, back to the toilet to throw up (don't know where that came from) - and this is how the whole night went with not much break in between each. In the morning she was just burning up and so didn't go to school - spent the day on the couch alternating between shivering and perspiring. She had a much better night last night (and therefore so did I) and wanted to go to school this morning. She looked a little better although still not that flash so sent her off with instructions to call if she felt she couldn't manage anymore and I would go and pick her up.

Needless to say I only did just over 4500 steps for the day - if she had just been sick without the temp I probably would have left her and gone for a walk but I am always wary when kids have temps and didn't want to take the chance.

Last night we had the second to last of our catch up lectures - next Monday night is our assessment and I have a heap of studying to do before then. My Dad came and sat with K while I was at lectures after A had to leave to go to work - will see what we are going to do tonight as we are both due to work from 8-12pm. Maybe A can take some carers leave if she is still battling with a temp - can't ask my Dad to stay until midnight as he has to get up at 4.30am to go to work.

My eating has been good - I have been having at least one serve of fruit a day and most days manage to get through at least 2L of water. The one good thing about having no money is that there aren't any treats around the house although I have to say that it is just as easy to overeat on 'good' food as what it is to eat on 'bad' food. At least the scales are going in the right direction.

OK - the rain has now stopped so I am off for a walk and then I am going to come home and toss up between redoing my resume (on the advice of an HR manager whom I treated the other day) and studying the origins, insertions and actions of the muscles of the body - actually I suppose it isn't too much of a toss up because they both have to be done - just a case of which one will get done first !!!

Take care and have a great day !

Thought for the day : A pessimist is someone who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.

I survived !!!

2009-01-27T14:30:00.002+10:00

Well I survived the first day back at school. I dropped K off and then went to gym (third to last day I can use the facility before my two week free membership runs out) and then came home. I applied for a job and answered some e-mails.

In the meantime it was pouring with rain for 5 mins and then sunshine and then pouring with rain for 5 mins and then sunshine again. Eventually got tired of waiting for the weather to clear and I got a brolly and went out on an 85min walk - and never needed the brolly once !!!!

Came home and had some water (should have taken it with me) and some grapes. Just having some trail mix for lunch - too hot for anything else and then I am going to sit with the last of the Twilight books and see what Bella and Edward get up to.

Today wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be - must make sure that I have things to do over the next couple of days to make sure I don't start eating because I am bored and tired of not working !!!!!

Thought for the day : Friends are like flowers, they give pleasure just by being.

Hot, muggy day

2009-01-23T18:15:00.002+10:00

Well that is exactly how it has been today - hot and muggy. I had forgotten what it was like living in this sort of humidity but it brought back all sorts of memories from my life in Durban where this is the norm !!!!

Needless to say it doesn't invoke a huge desire to do anything apart from lie under the fan or in the air conditioning. But, I started the day with excellent intentions - we took K's car to get cut and polished and were going to walk home from there - not sure how far but certainly quite a distance. We were going to stop at Harbourtown to have crepes for breakfast (last day of holiday treat for K) and it had started to rain on the way there - while we were eating it absolutely bucketed down. K was whingeing about having to walk all the way home in the rain even though we had a huge golfing umbrella so eventually I gave in, called my folks and got a lift home.

Then as I was getting ready to go to the gym, the phone rang and it was Target to say that the 4th book in the Twilight series had come in and they would put one aside for K. What a relief - she has been phoning all over the Gold Coast every second day trying to find this blasted book - finally the chance to get it. So, after gym we went down and picked it up and I started reading out loud as she was driving home (probably not the most responsible thing I could have done but we are both so anxious to get into the book !!!!). Went to the local centre to get some school shoes for K only to find they had sold out - how does a shoe store sell out of school shoes the week before school ??? OK maybe I should have tried to get some sooner but we have been tossing up whether these would last a whole year or not.

Then we got a call to say that the car was ready but had to wait for A to finish work so that he could take us there to collect it - it has really made a difference to how the car looks. He did a great job and even touched up little scratches and chips in the paint work.

Now it is dinner time - thank goodness it is only having to heat up left overs - I am so hot I don't think I could be bothered to cook and then it would have been take-aways and I definitely don't want those tonight - I have been doing too well to sabotage it with junk !!!!

Take care and have a fantastic long weekend !

Thought for the day : Life is a drawing board, sketch you own scenes.

A better day

2009-01-21T23:06:00.003+10:00

Today was a better day for me - but then K was with me and that really makes all the difference. She is just so funny and comes out with the most outrageous things at times. Where she gets her imagination from I have no idea - at no time have I ever seen this trait in either myself or A so how come she has such a vivid imagination is anyone's guess. But, it is great having her around and I am savouring these last few days with her.

I didn't go to gym today - I woke up this morning and my muscles felt sooooooooo tired so I gave it a break. Went back to the acupuncturist who has changed the herbs yet again - she also needled in different places so hopefully this will be the turning point for me. My hayfever had definitely improved before I got sick but since the weekend, my itchy eyes, ears and throat and sneezing are back with avengance again.

K and I did go for a walk this afternoon although it was only for 45 mins - I had a dreadful headache but knew that if I didn't walk I was going to battle to make my 8000 steps per day and really, it wasn't too bad once we were out there although it was bloody hot. I am sure that I didn't feel any different to if I had just stayed at home reading my book - actually I probably felt better for having got out there and got the endorphins going.

Tonight I went to lectures - although would gladly have given them a miss if I could have - got home and had dinner and now I am just busy cooking the herbs before going to have a shower and get into bed with my book.

I have said no to a quite a few food items today which would not have helped me in my quest to lose weight so am really happy about that. Since joining the 12 week challenge, I am now accountable for what I put in my mouth and it has made me much more aware of just how many little things had crept into my mouth which were not conducive to weight loss. I have had only 1 softdrink in the past week which is just fantastic as I was probably drinking about 1-2L of softdrinks per day - and not diet ones either !!!!! I have to say that I am feeling a lot better for having cut out the softdrinks - my only complaint is that my skin has gone to the dogs - I don't know what it is but I have had such breakouts (I never even had anything like this when I was a teenager) over the past couple of weeks. Very strange as I am eating so much more healthily (is there such a word ??) - no chocolates (except for those 4 Lindt balls) - minimal softdrinks and yet my skin is worse than ever. Oh well - at some point it will have to improve.

Anyway, have a great day and take care !

Thought for the day : To live life to the fullest is to see the world as a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower.

Feeling like cr*p today

2009-01-20T20:55:00.002+10:00

If today is any indication of what it is going to be like when K goes back to school next week, I am not looking forward to it one little bit. She had a maths tut to go to at school this morning and then went to the movies with some friends and the day was just awful - no-one to play the giddy goat with and nobody around to make me laugh ! I am going to really miss having her around.

I got up this morning and went to gym. Then came home and had breakfast and K drove to school (she did a really good job seeing as it was the first time she had driven in traffic in her manual car). After that I went and got some shopping and then came home and starting applying for a job that had been advertised on seek - it is with Queensland Health and, after trying to work out how to answer all their selection criteria, I have to wonder how badly I need the job (well actually I am desperate for a job so I answered all the questions) - now I am just waiting for a referee to get back to me so that I can put his details forward - if I haven't heard back from him by the morning, I am going to use another of my ex-boss'.

My walk today was done with the help of my iPod - I don't think I would have made it without the company of the music. I got home in time to go to fetch K from the movies only to find that the garage remote wouldn't open the garage door - bugger !!! Called my Dad and asked if they could come over and let me in so sat in the shade waiting for them. They came, I dashed inside, got a drink of water (had left my water and tissues at home when I went walking - not a good idea in 30+ degree weather at 2.30pm !!!!), and dashed out to get her.

Got home and got the therapy room ready for a client tonight and then got dinner cooked. Jumped in the pool before my client arrived as it was still so hot at 6pm.

Now I am sitting here trying to keep positive even though I fell cr*p - I haven't had a full time job since the middle of November, my casual hours at Coles are becoming more and more sporadic due to me going to lectures two nights a week, I have cut our expenses as much as I can without cancelling polices and such and even though I have been applying for jobs, most of the time I don't hear anything back. The worst part of it is that I know that I am totally capable of doing the jobs that I have applied for (it isn't as though I am just sending my CV off for ANY job - I only apply for ones that I know I can do) and I don't even get a thanks but no thanks letter from them. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING - today I could just feel myself wanting to crawl into a little ball and cry my eyes out and it was all I could do to stop myself. I don't want to feel sorry for myself but my self esteem is slowly being worn down to nothing. I know that the right job for me is out there and I just need to be patient - all I can do is send my CV off - the rest is up to the people who receive it.

Thank goodness for my walking - I have to say that I am really enjoying that. K mentioned yesterday how much fitter I was and I asked her why she said that - she replied "Don't you remember those first few walks we did when I first broke up from school - you battled to keep up with me and I had to keep on slowing down for you ? Now you keep up with me without any problem" - then I realised that I must have got fitter because she was right - I was able to keep up with her. At the gym this morning the lady asked me how I was going - I said that it was good although my legs and arms are still very weak and only able to cope with the weights that she had put for me - BUT the chest press (I think that is what it is called) and the lat machine (whatever that is called) I was finding reasonably easy so the second time around the circuit she upped the weights on those two and I could feel the difference which was good.

Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to take heart from the fact that the sun will come up (well most likely it will given where I live !!) , my family and I will still have our health and, at some point in the future, I will find a permanent position.

Have a great day everyone and take care !

Thought for the day : Use your past successes as a trampoline, not an easy chair

Another great day !

2009-01-19T22:12:00.003+10:00

This morning I got up and checked mail. Then I had my chinese herb tea and went off to gym. I was really pleased because on the way to gy, I had a call from a lady who received a flyer from the mail drop I did on Saturday asking if she could make an appointment for a massage !!!! I am really enjoying Contours - I just wish that now that I have the time I had the money to continue to go once my two free weeks are finished !!!!

I got home from there and had breakfast with K before leaving at 10.30am to go on a really long walk - just under two hours actually. We did a big circuit and stopped off at Coles to get some wraps, lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes to make a salad wrap with the carrots and cheese we already had at home.

Then a quick shower and off for a driving session (now over 2/3's of her 100hrs completed - YAY !!!). Got home and made sure the therapy room was all set up and waited for the new client to arrive. She left and said she was very happy with the treatment which is always good - although the real proof will be if she makes another appointment and actually comes back again. I mentioned the hot stone massage to her and she is very keen to try that so hopefully she will be back.

Then it was time to go to lectures - have just got home and am catching up on what I have missed during the day. Am off now to finish the washing and then shower and settle down with my book until A gets home from work.

Have a great day everyone and take care !

Thought for the day : Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.

A great day !

2009-01-18T07:49:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I had a great day - in the morning A&K were changing the radio in her car to an old one that we used to have that has a CD player and he suggested I go to gym. So, thought I would give them some father/daughter time together and off I went - I really enjoyed it.
Got home and they were still busy so went and did a mail drop - think the flyers were reproducing in my hand because when I finished nearly an hour of walking and delivering (with not that many No Junk Mail stickers) - I seemed to have almost as many as when I started !!! Not that I am moaning because there are more flyers to go into other post boxes and get clients into my business.

Got home and did a very little bit of revision work for my lectures. We got a rice cooker on our Award Points recently so made a pumpkin risotto - not that best I don't think and maybe we will just keep it cook rice in - I haven't been able to cook rice since we arrived 9 years ago - can only make the 2 min packets of rice - all I land up with is a gluggy mess when I try to cook rice in a pot. Hopefully this will help as a little rice goes a long way when you are on a tight budget !!!

Then as I wasn't rostered to work tonight A had to go off by himself - I dropped him off - came home, showered and then took K out for 1 1/2 hrs of night driving - this 10 hrs of night driving is taking a long time to get finished. We are now 2/3's of the way through her 100 hours so slowly slowly getting there.

I got home and all I wanted was a nice big bowl of ice-cream but thought long and hard about how good a day I had had and realised I didn't REALLY want to blow it with a big bowl of ice-cream so got my third bottle of water and wokred my way through that instead.

Today is a new day - I am off just now to do another mail drop - hopefully the last for this lot of flyers - and then I think that most of the day may be spent in front of the TV watching the ODI in Hobart. I can't believe that we lost the game on Friday night - at one point SA had over 10 runs an over to get to win - and they bloody well did it with 3 balls to spare - hope we can pull something out the bag today. We really need to find some decent bowlers !!!!

Thought for the day : The world can only be grasped by action, not contemplation

Where did the week go ?

2009-01-17T08:05:00.000+10:00

I have just seen that my last post was on Sunday and today is Saturday - nearly a whole week has gone - where did it go to ????

I have had a good week food, water and exercise wise. I had one client and I had a couple of calls from employment agents re my CV which I sent to them in the hope of finding some work - no work yet but at least they called to say that they had received it and would let me know if anything came up. Not sure how long we can continue with next to no income from me.
I did quite a few mail drops during the week and probably have about 350-400 flyers left to do today - surely someone out there needs a good reflexology treatment or massage ????

We spent quite a bit of time running around getting the car registered etc - hit a snag there as the old man we bought the car from is in hospital and his daugther was handling everything under an EPOA - got the register the car and they want to see the original EPOA ! Bugger - so had to get in touch with A to get in touch with her husband to get in touch with her (she was busy trying to get her Dad into a respite centre) to eventually make an arrangement to meet her at another licencing place closer to her at 4pm - A called to say she would be there at 4pm - we were in the middle of a mail drop so had to dash back to the car, scream home, get changed and then all the way down to where she was - anyway it is all done now which is the main thing. Except we used the car to go to work on Thursday night and someone broke the mirror off that they had just replaced because it was broken and needed to be replaced for the RWC. Luckily A has managed to do a repair job on it but will have to keep an eye on it.

My walking this week has been good - mainly because of getting those flyers out plus I want to try to make over 8000 steps per day. Before Christmas a friend gave me a two week free membership to Contours gym. She called on Sunday night wanting to know if I wanted to go on Monday morning but I was still recovering from last week so said I would see later on in the week. I was in touch with her on Thursday night and went in yesterday morning - what a great little place it is. No gym bunnies in tight skimpy outfits - just real women with real weight problems trying to do what they can. I thought I would be stiff this morning but I'm fine - will definitely make the most of the these two weeks while I can. The lady went over the pricing with me - $195 to join and $60 per month for a 12 month contract BUT they have a January joining special of only $95 BUT she saw that I had ticked 'Tight budget" as a reason for not joining previously so said that they could do it for $50 !!!! Which would be fine if I had a spare $50 and $60 pm to pay for it for 12 months BUT seeing as I am battling to pay the mortgage, gym membership isn't going to be an option no matter how good it makes me feel. :( Never mind, when my business is up and running with lots of clients and I am working from home only, I will easy be able to fit in a 30min workout at the gym. I mean right now I have plenty of time but when I find full time work - between that and lectures and Coles and clients and family, I really can't see that I would have the time to go anyway.

This week I have made much better choices with my food as well as saying no to little treats which in the past I probably would have said yes to. I have probably only had one soft drink and have done really well with drinking between 1.5-2L of water each day - I think with all the walking I have been doing, it has been so easy to drink that much water.

Have a great weekend and take care !

Thought for the day : Failure is the opportunity to try again more intelligently

Feeling much better

2009-01-12T16:51:00.000+10:00

Today I am feeling much better. I haven't done that well in the steps department but I don't want to overdo it too soon and find that I have a bit of a relapse. Tomorrow morning I am hoping to be able to start my mail drops again because I have about 1000 flyers that still need to be delivered. The good thing is that I did have a phone call for an appointment from the couple of hundred dropped on Sunday and Monday last week - unfortunately I couldn't provide any treatment because I was so sick but the good thing was the client was prepared to wait until I was better. K called her on Friday to say that I was still not better and would be in touch early this week so will give her a call tomorrow depending on how I am feeling and whether I am up to giving a treatment.

I am off to lectures in a few minutes - they postponed Wednesday lectures because I couldn't make it which was rather nice although seeing as there are only two of us it would have been a little difficult to do any practical work.

My eating today has been good. I had some low fat strawberry yoghurt for breakfast and then we each got a breadroll when we were out at the centre at lunch time. Not sure what I will do about dinner - I have a few WW frozen meals in the freezer so will maybe have one of those when I get home after lectures.

The main thing is that I am feeling so much better than I did last week although I am getting really down about not having a job especially as my hours at Coles seem to be getting fewer and fewer each week - not sure what is going on there. I went in today to speak to the grocery manager but she wasn't in so will send a letter with A tonight and see if she gets back to me.

I am off to have some water and then get ready for lectures - take care and be good !

Thought for the day :Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.

Thank goodness ...

2009-01-11T21:04:00.000+10:00

finally I can get out of bed !!
This past week hasn't been fun at all - coughing and spluttering away AND STILL NO VOICE ! The main thing is that I managed to get up for a while yesterday and have spent a large part of today out of bed so hopefully in the next couple of days I can even get a walk happening !
Today we went and collected the car which we bought together with K - it is a 1989 Nissan Pulsar hatchback - with 45 000kms on the clock !! Yes, the old man who sold it used to go to the shops and back each week and that was all the travelling that he did in it. Tomorrow we are taking it for RWC and to get all the hoses replaced, then off to register it and then, no doubt, it will be the only car that K and I travel around in.
I am still looking for a job - I have put it out to the universe but I think that maybe the universe is just a little busy with other things at the moment because there is just nothing out there - come on universe - help me out here - please ......
OK- just wanted to let you know that I was up and about in the land of the living again - hopefully will have some good news to post re my weight this week. Despite being sick I have been eating better because I have had to eat to take my tablets - a far cry from the one or two meals which I may have been eating since I stopped working in the middle of November.

Thought for the day : Every exit is an entry to somewhere else.

Starting the year off sick - bugger !!

2009-01-05T22:37:00.000+10:00

Well the way I am feeling at the moment certainly wasn't how I thought I would start 2009 !! On Saturday my throat started to feel scratchy and 'off' and Sunday I woke up with the worst cough ever - K says it sounds like I am trying to cough my lungs out. Little does she realise how sore my throat and ribs are and if I could stop coughing I would. I have been taking cough mixture which does help short term but as there is no infection there is no point in going to the dr despite getting nagged by the family. K didn't even want me to go walking this morning !!!! In the end she called A who basically said if I wanted to walk I could and she wasn't happy with him !

Last night at about 10.15pm I started walking circuits around the house - our bedroom to the therapy room to the garage and back again. A asked me what I was doing and I said that my steps were so p*ss poor for the day (despite a visit to Bunnings and IKEA !!) that I was trying to get them up. He said lets go for a walk so we got changed and did the first of the mail drops for this year - it was actually quite pleasant walking that late at night as it was certainly a lot cooler than during the day. The only problem was that my chest was quite sore when we finished. This morning K and I did a shorter mail drop and will try to continue with those until the 1500 flyers are all distributed. When we were finished we drove to see my folks and to get K's driving hours up (she has to do 100 hrs logged driving and has got just over 56 hrs done so all going along well - until I find some work when it will come to an abrupt halt !!!) - we got home after seeing them and I really just flopped on the beanbag. Couldn't sit there as it was too much like lying down so had to get up and sit on the couch - managed to doze on and off a little (didn't get much sleep last night) and then in the afternoon we went to the centre to the PO and to get an exercise books for my lectures which started again tonight.

There are two of us who have changed schools to do the Diploma of Remedial Massage and we are doing a catch up course on a subject which we didn't cover at our previous school - it is really cool having only two of us in the class - plus we get on really well which helps as well. The only problem is that I have no voice - lost it about 2 hrs after the coughing started yesterday so peace and quiet reigns at home again !!!

Am off to spend some time with K before she goes to bed - will wait up for A to get in from work and then will go to bed - unless I fall asleep before then !!

Take care and go safely !

Thought for the day : Climb that mountain, follow your star, achieve your dream. If you can dream it, you can be it.

A new year !

2009-01-01T20:02:00.001+10:00

Happy New Year to anyone reading this blog !! I hope that 2009 brings you all you wish for yourself and your family and that you can look back at 2008 with fond memories of the good times and try to forget the not so good times !

How many people make New Year resolutions ? I haven't made any for quite a few years now as I found that it sort of made me almost certain to break it. I feel it is a bit like 'going on a diet' - that implies that at some point you will 'come off the diet' - I try to think that I am embarking on a healthier way of eating / living more than a diet. Sometimes it works and sometimes I still land up going back to the unhealthy lifestyle and land up where I am at the moment.

Since I haven't been working, I have tried to walk more, eat less and make better food choices. I would have thought that this would have helped budge some of the excess kilos I have been carrying but to no avail. My walking last week was rather pathetic when compared to the previous week but we really didn't do much on Christmas Day or Boxing Day that could be considered exercise in any way. The good thing was that we didn't go overboard with our eating either - we just didn't do much in the way of exercise.

Throw in a cricket test between South Africa and Australia and there are another couple of days where being a bean bag spectator seemed to be the order of the day !!! We certainly seem to be very good at throwing games away !!!!! Never mind, we always knew there was going to be a period of rebuilding after MacGrath and Warne retired and, while we are close to relinquishing our No 1 position in cricket, I am sure that we will regain it sometime in the future.

I can't believe that A's two weeks of leave is finished tomorrow - we haven't done nearly as much as we thought we were going to - but the good thing is that I think he has had a really good break which is more important. Tomorrow we are taking a couple of trips to the tip to get rid of the clutter outside that really doesn't need to be there (although there is heaps more I would like to get rid of - he is a bit of a hoarder who battles to let things go if there is the remotest possibility that he may be able to use it in the future) but at least it is a start.

I had better close off for now because I need to get supper finished otherwise we are all going to be snacking the whole night - take care and look after yourselves !

Thought for the day :
Today is absolutely today
Today is not yesterday
Today is not tomorrow

Sunday before Christmas !

2008-12-21T22:28:00.000+10:00

Well - for the first time in I don't know how many years - I am totally organised. It is 20th December and all my Christmas shopping is done and wrapped and under the tree. My grocery shopping is done - bar some fresh veggies to be bought from the farmers market on Wednesday morning. I have NEVER been this organised before - it probably has heaps to do with the fact that I am on a forced holiday and have so much more time to get things done. This week I just need my house cleaned and I will be A for away !

In the latest Women's Weekly they have the South Beach Diet. K and I are thinking of trying it after Christmas - not sure I could do it for any length of time but they claim you can lose 4.5kgs in two weeks. Now if I could just kick start my weight loss regime with that, I would be extremely happy. I am seriously thinking of going back to WW in the new year - provided I can fit it in between work (because I KNOW I am going to find a job in the new year), lectures (which start again on 5th January) and clients (who I am hoping will be phoning up to make appointments to come and see me) !!

I joined the 10,000 steps challenge - well actually I didn't join any challenge - I just registered with them and have been logging my steps on their website daily - these are my steps for the past week :
Sunday 5 759
Monday 4 062
Tuesday 9 613
Wednesday 9 967
Thursday 12 787
Friday 10 570
Saturday 9 897
Total 62 655
This is slightly down from my total for last week which was 65 949 but then we didn't do any mail drops (although I still have about 70 Christmas brochures to drop off - must get to those tomorrow). Having the pedometer has certainly made me more aware of how much (or not) I exercise. I am more likely to go for a walk at 4pm if my steps for the day are really low than I would otherwise. K has been really good about walking with me which has been great - it is good to have company even if she does go a little too fast for me sometimes !!!

In case I don't get back - I would like to wish anyone reading this a Very MERRY CHRISTMAS and EVERYTHING you wish for yourself in 2009 !

Take care and go safely if you are travelling over the holiday season - there are so many silly people out on the roads - more so than normal !!!

Thought for the day : Climb that mountain, follow your star, achieve your dream. If you can dream it, you can be it.

Happy Anniversary A !!

2008-12-17T08:11:00.000+10:00

Yes - it is our anniversary today. 21 years ago we walked down the aisle, promised to love and honour through sickness and health and we have done all of that and more. 21 years ago A was my bestest friend, today he is still my bestest friend.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY A !

I love you more now than I did 21 years ago ! Here's to at least another 21 years together.

"This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with and love."

A good day

2008-12-12T23:36:00.000+10:00

Today was a good day for me. I didn't go for a walk but that is OK - I have my pedometer and so far have just over 6600 steps which isn't too bad given that the first time I went out of the house was a 8.40pm when I got K to drive around to my folks to drop off some banana bread that we had made during the day. She has to do 10 hrs of night driving in her 100 hrs of logged driving - slowly we are getting there. She has completed just over 34 hours (which is great because up until about 3 weeks ago - she had completed a total of about 5 hrs !!!!) Thank goodness for being unemployed - I knew there was a reason why I wasn't working !!

Since I have gone back to my 3 / 4 nights per week work at Coles I have been battling to sleep. Last night I didn't work because I had fallen over a pallet on Monday night and when I went to work on Wednesday night my back really gave me uphill. So said I wasn't available last night which would mean it would have a rest until Monday night as we are rostered off this Saturday. Anyway, I was still awake when A got home as I had been working on my paperwork and trying to get MYOB loaded so that I could process The Body and Feet Retreat stuff so that when it comes to tax time it is all done - got into bed and lay there. So then got up and took a sleeping tablet and had a great nights sleep. I vaguely heard him get up, cook himself some breakfast and then he kissed me goodbye and went to work and I must have fallen asleep again as the next thing I knew it was 8.45am !!!

K had just woken up and was watching TV so I got up and made some blueberry muffins for breakfast. We sat outside on the swing chair watching the rain coming down and ate our breakfast - it was lovely.

Then I got stuck into the kitchen drawers - who would have thought that so much stuff could be stuffed into four little drawers !!! Apart from the top drawer which has our everyday cutlery in - the other drawers had such an accumulation of unnecessary items - it just wasn't funny. But I had great fun matching up measuring cup sets, and measuring spoon sets - and figured that I don't really need 5 sets of measuring cups do I ????? Nor do I need 6 sets of measuring spoons !!! I didn't get rid of any of the bottle openers - that is A's domain and I knew I would be touching a nerve if I had any of his bottle openers on the St Vinnie's pile so put them all back in the drawer - but there is now so much room, they can fit without having to try to jiggle the drawer to get it open or closed !! I also got rid of 4 pairs of salad servers - and I still kept 4 pairs (not counting the two wooden sets I have just remembered we bought a little while ago when Target were having a sale and we bought a whole bunch of wooden things because we love wood so much !!!) Maybe I should have another look tomorrow and get rid of another set of salad servers !!

Then came the bottom drawer with every possible handout from WW - fat lot of good they did me - so kept the recipes I think I may ACTUALLY make and tossed the rest out. I believe they are bringing out a new programme in the new year anyway (they always do every 2 years) so figure there really isn't much point in keeping the old stuff. While I haven't been doing WW for a very long time now, in the back of my mind I think that I am going to have to go back to them because, honestly, it seems to be the only way I can lose any weight. This past week my steps have been really good, my eating has been a lot less than it used to be but my weight isn't moving at all - I know that I need that discipline of having to face someone at the scales each week to keep me on the straight and narrow. URRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH when I find work in the new year I'll have the money but battle to find the time to go to WW class because of my diploma lectures and if I don't find work, I'll have the time but not the money to attend !!! Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Never mind - it will all sort itself out and what will be will be.

After that K and I made some banana bread with the vrot bananas that we had. When the banana bread was in the over we tackled the pantry cupboard - gosh, I can't tell you how many items we found in there that had expired - and I can only think that at some point in time I actually thought I would make something with them !!!! At least that has been done and I feel so much better now - next is working my way through the rest of the kitchen cupboards and getting rid of kitchen clutter that hasn't been used for the past 12 months. I know that at the bottom of my pot cupboard there is a roasting pan which we got as a wedding present 21 years ago which has never been used - I don't do roasts in the oven, Al always does them on the Weber. I am sure that St Vinnie's will be able to find someone who can make better use of it than what I have !!!

Then K went off for a parking lesson - her driving is coming along really nicely but her parking is giving me grey hairs. After the two lessons this week, she is a lot more confident and I am not so paranoid that she is going to hit the cars on either side of us when she is going into or out of a parking - having said that, we still look for parkings with no cars around !!!!!!

This afternoon I finished getting MYOB loaded and all my processing done - another job that makes me feel good. And then it was time to get ready for my hot stone client. She really enjoyed the treatment - hope she passes my details onto anyone she hears who is interested in taking some time out for themselves.

We don't have anything exciting planned for the weekend - maybe try to get to see Quotum of Solace as both A & K want to see it - I don't mind either way. Thank goodness all my Christmas shopping is finished - maybe I will spend some time wrapping the presents and not leaving them until we get home after work on Christmas Eve !!!

Take care and have a fantastic weekend !

Thought for the day : If you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

When is enough enough ?????

2008-12-11T23:22:00.000+10:00

While the title sounds like it may be weight related - this post isn't !!!

I treated a client while working in the clinic attached to the school where I was studying. This client really enjoyed the treatment I gave her and asked for my details so she could contact me for a treatment once I was no longer working at the clinic. I gave her my card.

She called once during the day when I was still working full time saying that she was off sick and could she come over for a treatment. I called her when I got home saying that I was sorry I hadn't got back to her sooner and that if she wanted to come over then I would give her a treatment (approx 5pm) - she said that it was too late but thank you for returning her call.

Last week on Sunday she called wanting to make an appointment. We made the appointment for Monday night approx 5.30pm. She sent an sms at about 4pm to say she had to work late could she come on Tuesday night. I replied saying that would be fine. I got an sms the next morning (7am) saying that she couldn't make it could she please come on Wednesday night. I replied saying that I already had clients booked for Wednesday night but could see her either Thursday night last week or Monday or Thursday night this week. She replied asking me to book her in for Thursday this week.

I sent a confirmation of appointment e-mail to her yesterday - didn't hear anything back from her so presumed she was going to be here. At 6pm tonight I sent an sms asking if she was still coming for her treatment - she replied that she had to work and wouldn't be able to make it - she was very apologetic and said maybe she could make an appointment for the weekend. I replied saying when she was free to get in touch with me and I would see if I had any appointments available.

Now my question is - do I continue to make appointments for her and she doesn't pitch ? At the moment, I am not that busy so it isn't as though I had to turn someone else away because she had an appointment and then didn't pitch. Or do I just say I don't think this is going to work and leave it at that ? A seems to think that it has something to do with the cost because I charge more than the clinic but I keep saying I told her that up front - this is the cost of the treatment and she was happy with that.

Any ideas on what to do ?????

Too busy

2008-12-11T02:17:00.000+10:00

I have to be honest, when my contract finished 3 1/2 weeks ago, I thought it would be the ideal time for me to get back into blogging and get in touch with those friends that I have neglected for too long - how wrong was I ??????

Having said that, the reason I haven't blogged this week is because I got my new pedometer and I am out getting my steps up so that I don't have to post some piss willy number onto the 10,000 steps site. So, my options have been - blog or walk - walking won. And blog or swim - swimming won. I am sure that the novelty of the pedometer will wear off eventually but while it is here, I am going to make the most of it. K said on Tuesday night that she wanted to walk every day so I told her I could wake her up when we got up in the morning for A to go to work and I would go walking with her - big mistake - she is far fitter than I am and I spent the whole of the walk yesterday morning saying "Sorry Luv - either go on ahead or slow down a little - I can't keep up with you" !!! She was apologetic and said for me not to worry about slowing her down - just now I would be fitter and we could walk at that pace (until she forgot and sped up again and I had to ask her to slow down a little !!!!) I think she may be back at school before I am fit enough to keep up with her.

I started reading Dr Phil's Ultimate Weight Loss book but it obvioulsy didn't grab me the way that I thought it would because I keep putting off picking it up again. At the moment I am reading "Does this clutter make my butt look fat" - I think that the universe is trying to tell me something because it was only a week or two ago that I was put in touch with the FLY webpage which is all about whizz cleaning through your home and, you guessed it, decluttering. While on my forced holiday, I have made a concerted effort to declutter those areas / cupboards that collect the things that are too hard to decide what to do with - and I am being ruthless in getting rid of stuff (I am sure that this will come back to bite me on my butt when A says "Where is XYZ" and I will have to say - I got rid of it because we haven't used it for the past 12 months). Either tomorrow or Friday the plan is to tackle the pantry - I was going to do that today but with K at a driving lesson learning how to park (I haven't been able to explain that clearly enough to her and I get another couple of grey hairs every time she drives into a car park and has to park the car) and such a beautiful day outside, I put my togs on, got onto my little floaty thing and spent the hour in the pool - it was gorgeous.

Tomorrow I am off to enrol for the diploma next year - all very exciting although I will have some work to do these holidays going over, and ensuring that I know, all the origins, insertions and actions of all major muscles - four pages worth actually. Think I should tackle a couple every day and just keep adding to what I have learnt.

My eating has been quite good - I have been so busy that I really haven't eaten as many wrong foods as I could have. Also with K at home I tend not to snack like I do when I am by myself - definitely has something to do with not wanting her to see just how much I can eat when I put my mind to it - actually even when I don't put my mind to it I can eat heaps !!!!! I have been cooking good wholesome dinners every night - plus cooking extra to freeze so that when lectures start again on 5th January, A doesn't have to cook on the nights I have lectures - he can just heat up and maybe do some veggies.

We are having a very quiet Christmas this year - mainly because with me not working financially that is all we can afford. I went onto the recipe site that I use quite often and found a couple of interesting takes on potato salad (my contribution towards Christmas lunch) along with the turkey and a dessert. Haven't finalised a dessert recipe but the Bailey's cheesecake is looking good at this stage.

This whole not sleeping thing is starting up again - I was doing really well with my sleeping while I was a lectures but now that I am back working the 8-midnight shift, we get home, get into bed and A is snoring within minutes - it is now 2.34am and I am still as wide awake as a 'nag apie' (or night monkey for those who can't read Afrikaans !!!) To make it worse my hayfever is driving me absolutely nuts - I hate taking anti-histamines but have resorted to them to try to get some relief from the itchy eyes, throat and ears but I am not having much success - does anyone have anything else they can recommend ?

My business is coming along nicely. I have had a couple of paying clients (which is great as up until the end of November, everyone I treated was for free but now that I am qualified I can start to charge for the services I provide - YAY !!!) and I have also sold a number of gift certificates which is great. One downside of doing all the marketing / set up etc by yourself is that sometimes you take things for granted - my Dad designed the front of my gift certificate and I told him what information I wanted included - unfortunately I didn't include any contact details of how to get hold of me when they want to book their appointment !!!!!! Luckily it is all friends who have bought them so I have delivered business cards to them to be included in the envelope with the gift certificate and Dad is going to change the info on the next batch that he prints - he said to scrap the ones that I haven't used yet but I said that was a waste of the good paper and all the ink that we have already used so will just remember to pop a couple of business cards in when I sell them. I have ordered my next lot of flyers to be delivered at the end of December as they have the specials for January and February - I have 1500 of those arriving in the next week or so. I am undecided on whether to try to build the business as quickly as I can or wait until I have finished the diploma. With me having lectures on two nights per week and all day Sunday, plus working at Coles one or two nights per week I don't really have a lot of time to see clients - provided I find a full time job in the new year - and I don't want to have clients having to wait a week or two before I can see them - URRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment on this one. I think I am going to have to sit down and seriously think about how to do this - does anyone know anyone who is looking for an accountant to work 2-3 days per week - that would be the ideal solution because then I would have 2-3 days to see clients at home and 2-3 days of using my grey matter. This is my want / need for the new year - I will sit down tomorrow and construct it exactly how I want it and then put it out to the universe. I did a hot stone treatment last week and have another one booked for Friday - I really enjoy doing that treatment although not as much as I enjoy doing reflexology - next flyer drop I must wish for more reflexology clients !!!!

OK - it is now 2.48am and I am going to get into bed and try to get some sleep - with all that I have on I can't even have a nana nap during the afternoon !!!!! Take care and look after yourselves.

Thought for the day : We are all like one-winged angels - it is only when we help each other that we can fly.

Time ???

2008-12-01T20:21:00.000+10:00

Where has the time gone to ? I can't believe that it is nearly a week since I posted - I really thought I would be posting a lot more regularly than a week between posts !!!!

But, how did I ever manage to hold down a full time job - I just seem to be on the go the whole time - am not sure how I will cope when I go back to work !!!!!

I didn't have much in the way of planned exercise last week - apart from my walk on Monday. The weather for most of the week was cr*p - and, while I realise I could walk in the rain, I wear glasses and CANNOT stand them having any sort of mark on them never mind them getting wet in the rain while I am walking. If we are going to work at Coles and it is raining A drops me under the shelter and then goes to park because I cannot do ANYTHING once they have a little splatter / mark / smudge on them.

I did make better food choices during the week. I haven't got as far as the eating plan in Dr Phil but what I am doing is cutting down on portion sizes and trying to make the best choices possible. While I didn't actually plan all our dinners for the week in advance - by the end of breakfast each day I knew what I was going to cook and made sure that it was all ready for A & K before I went to lectures or my clients arrived - a HUGE improvement on my culinary efforts over the past couple of months. Having said that, it is a little easier when I can shoot off to the shops if I need something rather than having to try to get out at lunch time and pick up what I need.

This morning I woke up quite early - got up and read for a while - then went back to bed and waited for A to wake up as he was the only one going to work - K has finished school and after a late night baby sitting session last night, she was sleeping in this morning. I ate breakfast and then tidied the kitchen and had a shiny, sparkly sink. Got dressed in my walking clothes, picked up as many flyers as I could fit in my hand, and set off. 1 hr 50 mins later I was home again - having had to walk home the last 30 mins with no flyers to drop off as I had run out. I have marked a map of where I went today and will continue to do mail drops (with lots of positive energy) until all my flyers are finished. I got home, put my togs on and was in the pool in a flash. Note to self : Next time I go walking and don't know how long I am going to be, block out or a hat would be a good idea and a bottle of water would be a fantastic idea. Just not sure how I can hold the water in one hand, the flyers in my other hand and then what to use to put the flyer in the post box !!!

Had a great time with all that walking - the amazing thing was apart from my feet burning a bit, I felt fine - no aches in my legs or butt like I had last week when I walked.

Tomorrow I have another full day - will probably not be at home much at all. A's Christmas party is a dress up theme thing (geez I hate those) so we are going to try to meet in between appointments and lunch dates to see what we can find. We were told to go as Bonnie and Clyde but (a) I'm not wearing a dress and (b) those outfits have to be dry cleaned and so are more expensive than some others - sooooooo we will be seeing what we can find and going as that.

I also need to find something to use for my hot stone equipment as the picnic table which I was using is just too big and gets in the way when I am massaging. I was going to buy a little table but then A suggested getting a chest of drawers type of thing instead as then I would be able to use the drawers for storage - great idea Luv !!!!! So we are off to the place where we just had our bookshelf made to see what they have in stock and what they would charge to make something that is suitable if they don't have anything in stock.

I thought I would be working tonight and Wednesday night as well as my normal Thursday night but when I rang today to confirm I was told I was down for Thursday and Saturday so I get to stay at home with K tonight !!! We are about to watch Bones so will be saying goodbye for now but, I'll be back - hopefully sooner than next Monday night !!!

Take care everyone and go safely !

Pork(y) pies

2008-11-26T11:08:00.000+10:00

OK - so I told a porky yesterday - I didn't sit down with Dr Phil - instead I sat down with a packet of Hobnobs and managed to polish a fair number of them off in one sitting. My intentions of having a breakfast this morning which would see me through to lunch time was blown out of the water by the self same packet of Hobnobs (which fortunately - or unfortunately - depending on how you look at it) are still not finished.

Yesterday there was a drama in the family - nothing much - but a drama none the less and so lots of tears (both mine and K's) which did lead to me giving her a hot stone treatment last night. I don't know how much she enjoyed the actual treatment (although how anyone could not enjoy a hot stone massage is really beyond me !!!) - but at the end she said her favourite parts were the hand and foot massage that I gave her !!!!!!

Today I woke up really wanting to get my walking shoes on and get out there - it hasn't stopped raining since before midnight - except for one or two short spells of about 10-15 mins. I am in a bad mood. I want to walk. I want to exercise. I want to get out there. Instead I am stuck in the house. Not really wanting to do anything but feeling guilty because I am not doing anything. I did join FLYLady - my kitchen sink is shiny and sparkly and my kitchen is neat and tidy. This is not too unusual because with clients in and out I always try to make sure that that area of the house is reasonably respectable so they don't think I am a complete and utter slob. But I was glad of the prompting that came from reading Bri and M's blogs that got me into the kitchen this morning.

I did get changed out of my PJ's and 'fix my hair' - I draw the line at wearing make-up when I am at home - it is enough of a hassle to put it on if I am going out - never going to happen if I am just fluffing around at home !!!!

I really wanted to walk today because today was the day I was going to start delivering my advertising brochures - I need the business - I need paying clients - I need to generate some income now that I don't have a day job. As it is I am going to have to try to jiggle appointments so that I can get more packing time at Coles. How come I was so positive about not working last week and earlier this week and today it's like "What the hell have I done?" Can I blame the weather ? I am sure that if it was sunny and I was out in the garden doing the weeding I wouldn't feel like this at all - even though I hate weeding !!!!!

OK - I am off with Dr Phil (for real this time) - I will be back later to tell you how I went.

A new beginning

2008-11-25T12:27:00.000+10:00

As the title says - this is a new beginning - for me, my weight loss journey and my endeavour to get healthy.

It has been a hectic year this year - we have had lots on the go and needless to say, my health and weight have taken a back seat - totally my own fault but now I have to make a decision on what I am going to do - am I going to continue on the path that I am on - the road to self destruction or am I going to do something positive about it and LOSE THIS WEIGHT AND GET HEALTHY !

I have decided to go with the second option - at this stage I am going to try to do it with the help of Dr Phil (the source of my blog title). I have bought his weight loss book off e-bay and I have a slightly used journal which I am going to use and I am going to give this a go.

I thought that seeing as I was no longer working I would be eating more but I have hardly had a chance to sit down in the week that I have been off (who said Mom's who don't work sit around all day doing nothing ??????). Which leads me to the first problem I have come across - when I don't plan any meals during the day at all - it is too easy to buy something quickly on the run and generally, those are not good options. While I am trying to do this a bit at a time, I think that if I can get through this week without doing too much more damage to myself, I can try to plan next week a little better. It should be easier - no school and K at home to help motivate me.

On that note I am off to do some work with Dr Phil and see what he has to say to me.

Thought for the Day : Most people are as happy as they make their minds up to be