An update before the next operation

I can't believe that the last time I posted was the day after the operation. Unfortunately the excellent vision that I had on the day after the operation has deteriorated - still 100 times better than I was before the operation but not as good as it was on the day after. Surgeon said that this sometimes does happen. He is disappointed with how my eye accepted the lens - from a health point of view my eye is in excellent condition but according to the measurements / machine reading etc - it should have come out at -.5 but it actually came out at -1.5. Not bad - but not as good as he wanted. Now the trick with the right eye is guessing whether it will behave the same way. He is aiming to get as close to 0 as possible which will mean that I will have good reading vision in my left eye and good distance vision in my right eye and my brain should be able to work them together so that I have good all round vision.

I was talking to my folks today and my Dad was worried that he had talked me into the operations - I said that he mustn't worry because I have never thought "Geez - this was a mistake" because at the moment, I am still better off than I was before the op. I think that maybe they didn't notice how long it took for their eyes to settle down because they aren't working in an office on a computer and with paperwork all day long - that is where it gets tricky because my left eye focuses at about 80cm and my right eye at 40-50cm and my brain isn't adjusting very well !!!! I know I just need to BE PATIENT but it is not a quality that I possess in any great volume !!

This time I am going to take the time suggested off work because I have realised that going back to work a week earlier than they suggest is not the smartest thing I ever did !!! And maybe that has hindered the recovery of my eye - will see how the right eye behaves next week. A has decided to take the whole week off with me so that will be good - I will even have my own driver !!!! It is Gold Coast show day the day after the op so he doesn't have to take any time off to drive me to the surgeon that day.

Once this eye is done I am going to turn my focus onto the real issue - our health - losing weight and getting fit and healthy. A friend of ours - not much older than A - and a lot fitter and slimmer - had a stroke about 6 weeks ago. We went to see him on the way up the Sunshine Coast on Friday and he was better and worse than I expected - he was better in that he recognised us straight away, carried out conversations and asked about K, spoke about people he and A had worked with in SA and worse in how much weight he had lost and to see how little control he had over his right leg - left side paralysed - so sad. We are going to see how things are on Sunday and take his wife out to lunch and then spend some time with him as he has been moved from Brisbane to Redcliffe (I think that is where he is now). That was a real wake up call for me and for A and at the back of my head, I keep thinking of G and realising that unless I do something to change how unhealthy I am - I could land up like him.

I guess I really have to get focussed - think about what I want to achieve and then work out a plan on how I am going to achieve it. It shouldn't be hard - I have done it so many times - I have to find what is going to work to get me motivated to do what I know I need to do - do what I have done so many times before - do what needs to be done to get me healthy and fit. Who has some motivation they can bottle up and send to me ? Or a seed that I can plant and grow some of my own ? I really don't mind sharing once I have it - I just need to somehow find a way to get it. I need a light bulb moment of ginormous size !

K's formal is in 3 weeks time and I am embarrassed to have to go at the weight that I am - those pictures are going to be around forever and I will be in them - like a whale - feeling awful about myself - not only am I obesely overweight but I can't even wear any make-up because I can't touch my eye that would have been operated on only 2 weeks prior ! The poor child - probably won't want any photos with me in them - and I can't say that I blame her.

We have started walking in the evenings as I am once again doing letter box drops for the business. While I am not happy working at council - it has certainly been good for business - the referral system around there is fantastic - not enough to let me pack in my day job (or even our night jobs) but certainly enough to keep the coffers ticking over - and for that I will always be grateful for the opportunity to work at council. Other than that I will probably leave there bald because everyday there is someone else who does something totally unbelievable - a decision that is made that is just beyond belief - and at times like these I feel like pulling another few hairs out - just now it will all be gone !!!

I will try to be back more frequently to post - and to get some inspiration as I, once again, try to get rid of these pesky kilos that seem to just sneak up without me knowing about them until one day BAM there they are and they don't want to be shifted !!! If only the BAM would work in shifting kilos the way they say it shifts grime and grease !

TFTD - Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.

A success

I am so pleased to say that the operation yesterday was a success. The surgeon is over the moon at the results (as am I) - at this stage it looks like I won't need glasses at all.

I landed up having to have a general anaesthetic as my eye was too long for him to get the needle behind it to do it with a local but that was OK - with the general there was less chance of me moving and therefore less chance of me making the surgeon make a mistake.

It has been a bit scratchy and achey today but I guess that is to be expected - he said that he hasn't put any stitches in it so I have to be really careful about not touching it at all - no bending forward, no heavy lifting, no sneezing and holding my nose (this one is going to be the hardest - it is just about impossible for me to sneeze and not hold my nose so now I am rubbing my nose every time I feel a sneeze coming on so that I don't have to 'open' sneeze !!!).

I spent a fair bit of yesterday afternoon sleeping and had another sleep this afternoon - made up for the bad sleep I had last night - it is so hard to only sleep on one side but was too difficult trying to sleep with the shield on the other side. I have to sleep with the shield for a week to protect against any involuntary rubbing, elbows to the eye, scratching etc - will see how that goes - definitely not looking forward to it although a small price to pay for the trade off of not having to wear glasses again !!!!

On that note, I am off to rest my eye - I don't want to make it feel worse if I don't have to.

Have a great weekend everyone and take care !

Today's the day

I got up this morning and made a chicken casserole to go in the slow cooker today. I am starting to get really nervous now - what if this is the last time I see the computer - maybe that is a little melodramatic because, at worst I will be able to see with my right eye so maybe I shouldn't be as nervous as I am. Even if, heaven forbid, something does go wrong today, my right eye is the better of the two so I won't be completely blind - I will just have lost my depth perception. BUT, I am going to be positive and confident that I am going to walk out of there and be able to see absolutely fine when they take the patch off tomorrow morning.

On that note, I am off to have a shower and get changed and then get my last bit of reading in for a couple of days. Watching TV has just become my favourite past time !

Take care everyone and have a wonderful Thursday !

Who would have thought

it would be such a long time between posts ????? I definitely didn't realise just how long it had been since I had been on here - needless to say, heaps has happened and I probably wouldn't remember exactly what so will try to do a quick recap.

I started a 4 month contract job with the local city council a couple of weeks into March - I am still there and bored out of my brain. But, for now the hours are good and I can pretty much come and go as I please, am more or less my own boss and MOST IMPORTANTLY there isn't anything else out there, so I will stay until something else comes up.

K got her drivers licence at the beginning of June - what a relief and what a help it has been. She is very willing to go and pick up things or drop things off - I left my work access card at home two mornings not too long after she got her licence and was able to catch her before she left to go to school and got her to drop it with me each time - that was a relief because I couldn't get in and out for the day (without having to wait for someone going the same way as me) without it.

K and I have both been sick lately - bloody head cold and stupid cough - still, bad enough to lay us up for over a week. This didn't help with getting my clinic hours completed but I couldn't exactly go in and treat clients while coughing and spluttering all over them. Have managed to get sufficient hours anyway - last 4 treatments on Sunday and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. Finally, my diploma finished and life can return to some sort of normalcy (whatever that may be in our household!!!!). Now I have to get two character references, copies of a whole bunch of certificates and qualifications and then I can send them off to become registered with the health funds so that people will be able to claim from their health funds when they have had a treatment.

It was my birthday earlier this week and Al and I took the day off - mainly because I had to go for the pre-op for next week (that took about 1 1/2 hrs) and then we had parent teacher interviews in the afternoon for another hour and a bit - so really not worth going back and forth to work. It was just lovely and was have promised to take either one birthday or our anniversary off every year and spend it together. We had a leisurely start to the day - banana and strawberry pancakes - K was not amused at having to go to school while we stayed at home !!! Read for a while and then off for pre-op - then to Australia Fair for lunch - then to school for interviews and then home before going out to dinner and off to Max Brenner for dessert - all in all a fantastic day !

Last week I had a client in for a hot stone massage - she liked it so much she wanted to book for next Saturday but I had to put her off until the following week because I wasn't sure how well my eye would stand up after the surgery on Thursday. She got to work on Monday and I received a phone call at about 10am - "This is B. S is here with me and I want what she had on Saturday" - I put the phone day and just laughed - it was so funny the way it came out. Anyway, B is booked in for her hot stone massage tomorrow. They really are so good in winter - the best way to relax and unwind and be good to your body and soul.

I can't wait for next weekend when I don't have to get up on Sunday and go to lectures or clinic - it really has been quite hard on the whole family but they have been really good about it. A has been just amazing - keeping the household running while still holding down two jobs. We have taken August off from our night job and are both so looking forward to some down time - not sure if we will know what to do with ourselves but I am wanting to start exercising and he needs to as well. A close friend of ours had two strokes a few weeks ago and it really gave us both a very loud wake up call - although we haven't done much about it since then because I always said that I would worry about food and exercise once lectures were finished. Well they are nearly finished and it is time to get serious about getting these excess kilos off and living a healthier lifestyle.

That's it for now - am off to have an early night - the problem is my body is only used to 4-5hrs of sleep a night so when I go to bed too early, I wake up too early. Suppose I can always get up and go for a walk except it is still a little too chilly in the morning for my liking - maybe I will read for a while !

Take care and have a fantastic weeked everyone !

TFTD : Every exit is an entry to somewhere else.

What's news ?

I don't actually have a whole heap of news since last posting - life is too hectic but not really much to say !!!

I did lose another 0.5 this week taking my total loss since 5 Jan 09 to 7.1 - gotta be happy with that.

My walking has taken a back seat this week - much to my horror. I REALLY miss not walking each day but sometimes it is just too hard to try to fit it in.

Saturday I spent a lot of time studying for two exams on Sunday - my own fault for not having picked up a book prior to the day before the exams !!!! The good thing was I passed both of them so was very happy about that. Can't remember what happened on Monday except that when Al got in from work we landed up talking until about 2am when I finally said "Can you please keep quiet I have to go to sleep".
Tuesday night I got home from lectures about 9.30 - totally knackered from so little sleep the night before - and HAD to make banana bread because the bananas were just about ready to walk out the door by themselves they were that frot !!! Wednesday night I had my massage swop but after that I had to go and do the shopping and when I got home - just after 9pm again - I made a cheesecake for the dinner we are having tomorrow night for some friends of ours.

Tonight I am home - am just about to have some dinner and then I am going to have a shower and sit and watch Grey's and do some knitting - if Al is lucky I may even still be awake when he gets home from work !!!

Work is a bit of a nightmare - I KNOW I said I would never work the hours that I used to work at the hospital and, while they aren't that bad, I am doing about 50 hr weeks - the upside to that is, as a contractor, I get paid for all 50 odd hours that I work - SO, it does make it worthwhile for me to put in the time especially as we got into a bit of a financial pickle when I didn't work for nearly 4 months. This whole week I have felt like a real dunce at work - not because the work is rocket science but because I don't know the stupid council processes which are supposed to happen (of course none of them are written down either). This afternoon the one guy, who has been really good about helping me where he can, said "Thanks so much for all that you have done today (we had a big deadline to meet by COB today) - we would never have made it if you weren't here" - so that was good. I said to him "So I don't need to go and sit in the road with a witches hat on my head ?" and he just laughed and said no I didn't need to - earlier on in the week when I was really battling I had said to him that I thought I would be more productive for the council if I went and sat in the road with a witches hat on my head and at least I would stop traffic from going where it shouldn't go !!!! Anyway, I felt a little better when I left this evening to go to lectures - the fact that I woke up at about 3.30 and didn't go back to sleep worrying about whether I would make the deadline or not was besides the point !!!! The countdown to the end of my contract has begun - he laughed when I told him that today because he has been working for the council for about 30 odd years !!!!!

OK - it is now 9.45 and I am off to have some dinner, a shower and then some time in front of the Tv with my knitting.

Take care everyone and until next time - go safely !

Thought for the day : How many a man (or woman)has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success ?

A funny thing ....

happened tonight. I had decided that I was going to walk after seeing my client and having dinner (I decided that at the beginning of the week). While I was chatting to my client before she left, I remembered the second 1500 flyers which had arrived that hadn't been delivered yet, so decided that I would kill two birds with one stone and deliver while I walked (it does slow me down a little but that's OK).

I left home at about 8.40pm - I don't think any of my South African friends read this but they would not believe that I can go walking around my neighbourhood at that time of the night and still be safe - that amused me for a while !!!

Now, the thing with delivering at night is - it isn't that easy to actually see where the post box is - especially when there is dodgy street lighting (blast the council for not replacing blown light bulbs in the street lights !!!). Then, when I am lucky enough to find the post box, the next trick is trying to see if there is a No Junk Mail sticker on it - again, not that easy when there is no light as my eyesight is shot at the best of times. Then if I manage to decipher that there isn't a No Junk Mail sticker - I have to work out do I lift the lid, drop it in or push open the flap to the post box it get the flyer in there. Of course this can only happen after I have bumbled my way along the grass verge - nearly twisting my ankle in the pesky holes that seem to abound at night time (I am sure they aren't there when I walk that way during the day). In the meantime I have managed to trip over uneven pavements and driveway edges all the while looking to see if I can see an elusive post box ! Some people are very accomodating and have sensor lights - the only trouble is that I nearly died of fright every time one of the bloody lights switched on. And, because there are dog lovers amongst my readers (yes, I know you are reading Kathy !!!), I won't mention what I thought of the dogs who barked and scared the cr*p out of me as I walked up their driveway !!!!!

All in all - about 140 people will take my flyer out their post box tomorrow and read about what I have to offer - maybe someone will phone to book an appointment or maybe they will tuck the flyer away and think about phoning at another time when they have more disposable income or more time on their hands. But, as long as I am out there telling people about what I have to offer, I have done what I can for now to promote my business.

This is a little philosophical but while I was walking I was thinking about how my weight loss journey has been a little like delivering the flyers at night - there have been things along the way which have tripped me up but I have had to just keep going - doing the best that I can. And, there have been those moments, like walking up the driveway and have the sensor lights turn on, where the light has turned on for me and I have realised that something I was or wasn't doing, was or wasn't helping me in my weight loss e.g. last year when I was at lectures, I very rarely ate dinner when I got home - I may have eaten a box of biscuits or a packet of chips or picked up some chips and a milkshake on the way home but I can think of maybe a hand full of occasions when I sat down and ate a meal. This year I have realised that if I don't eat a meal when I get home, I am not doing myself any favours and that hard work that I put in the rest of the day in terms of what I am eating and the exercise I am getting, is just going to waste because by not eating any dinner, I am just messing my body around and it won't like me for doing that.

Maybe I should continue to deliver flyers at night - maybe I will do some more thinking and come up with some amazing theories on things I didn't know I knew !!!

Have a great day everyone and take care !

Thought for the day: A good way to repay a kindness is to pass it on.

How to cope ?

OK - this is my problem right now (and for the next 4 months) - not only am I working full time (which I am totally happy about) - but I also work part time two or three evenings a week at Coles, study two nights a week and all day Sunday for my diploma, am busy setting up a business called The Body and Feet Retreat, work casual hours at a local day spa and need to find time to exercise and keep myself healthy - oh yes, I forgot about being a wife, mother, daughter, lover, chief cook and bottle washer, laundress and home cleaner. I am going to have to make sure that I am super, super organised otherwise it is all going to fall down around me like a pack of cards.

I can always give up the casual hours but there aren't that many of them and I do feel sorry for the owners of the spa - I can only do those on a Saturday. I have two big exams on Sunday and need to get some serious studying done this week - not sure when, but sometime.

Tonight I was going to come home from work, go for a walk and then come home and study. Well, a huge storm hit the Gold Coast and I drove home (an hour later than normal because we had a last minute rush job that had to be done) in the pouring rain - only to find when I got home that we had no electricity. So, the pork roast which we were going to have last night and couldn't (because we got home from cycling and exercising on the council gym equipment too late and would have been eating at 9pm) didn't get cooked tonight because of the rain. No problem, I had made a curry in the slow cooker last night we can have that - not so fast, when we decided on that plan for dinner, the electricity hadn't been taken out - so when the electricity went off, we landed up with pizza for dinner. Not my first choice but given the circumstances of pouring rain, no electricity and us fiddle faddling around wondering how long it would be before it came on again - pizza was the best course of action. Plus Al had to get to work.

I have accepted that sometimes you have to just do the best you can in the circumstances and tonight was one of those circumstances !!!!

Now I am off to log my weekly weigh in (I think I am down from last week but can't remember what I was last week !!!) and then I am going to hit the books for a couple of hours.

Take care everyone and have a great day ! I hope that Victoria is getting some of this rain as well.

Thought for the day : Life is a drawing board, sketch your own scenes.