TGIF !

I know that it has only been a short week (and if I wasn't sure my pay packet next week will remind me !!!) but I am really glad that today is Friday - not sure I would have managed to get through another day of work.

For some reason I have not been sleeping very well lately - not sure why because normally when I exercise as much as we have been, I sleep really well. It doesn't seem to be the situation at the moment - maybe because I haven't been to yoga for a while. Looking forward to going tomorrow morning. Then on Monday night and after that we will be going on Thursday night and Saturday which will be good because the class on a Thursday is the intermediate class and goes for 90 mins instead of 60 mins.

On Wednesday A said that he had a surprise for me but wouldn't tell me what it was. I guessed a few things but wasn't right and then he said that he would tell me on Thursday after we had weighed. I forgot all about it and yesterday morning he showed me the easter eggs that he had bought from the South African shop - candy coated chocolate eggs that look similar to normal eggs. We used to love these eggs as kids - the first year we had them my Mom had put them into egg cups and pretended that they were real boiled eggs for our breakfast. Of course when we tried to crack the egg and couldn't then realised that they were chocolate we couldn't wait to eat them. We used to get them every year. After we were married, Al and I would buy a couple of boxes (6 eggs in a box) and eat them over the course of a couple of weeks leading up to Easter and beyond. I was really excited when I saw them but said I wouldn't have it for breakfast which is always a rush but would rather keep mine until I could sit down and quietly savour the taste. I had mine tonight - it wasn't as good as I remember it being and so I told Al that he could he the other one in the box that was mine. No point in eating extra calories if they aren't really what I want ! That is something that I have learnt more and more about this time around - I was always brought up to eat what was dished up 'because there were thousands of starving children around the world' - was my Mom going to ship the food I didn't eat off to them ? I don't think so - but she used to tell us that everytime we didn't want to eat something. When I think back now I should have just said no and not eaten it except that we didn't do that, we did what our parents said and that was that. There was certainly never any discussion about why they told us to do something or any reasons given for anything. Maybe that is where we went wrong with K sometimes - had too many discussions and explained our decisions instead of just telling her to do something and be done with it ! Anyway, I digress.

I was talking to someone the other day about the fact that there were a few occasions when I had made a conscious decision to buy a miniture chocolate and eat it - always after I had waited at least 3 hours. The point was that I didn't just go off and buy a large chocolate as soon as I thought "I feel like a chocolate" invariably because I was bored or anxious or waiting for something to happen. She explained the behaviour as a lapse in my eating plan rather than a relapse into a bad habit. That has stood me in good stead quite a few times since then when I have made a decision to eat something - I always think about whether it is a lapse or a relapse. I don't want a relapse but I am happy to have a lapse if it means that I will have a miniture chocolate rather than a large chocolate - just enough to satisfy the sweet tooth that I have that has really missed my daily diet of chocolates and biscuits that I used to live on.

I am trying something a little different with my L&E this week. On the 1200 plan - you generally get cereal, toast and fruit for breakfast. Lunch can be a variety of things plus a fruit and a snack - a biscuit / muffin / pate and biscuits / cracker mix - again a range of things. And then dinner is dinner. The last couple of weeks I have not been too enchanted with the lunches so what I am trying this week is to order breakfast and dinner for the week plus 5 of the 'meal in a bowl' for me to use for lunches (we sometimes get them in the lunches anyway) and then I have bought some fruit cups as my fruit (again something that we would get in the lunches) and I have bought some biscuits to have as my afternoon treat based on the calories that I need for the day. The difference now is that instead of having 6 or 8 biscuits as my snack, I have one AND I always wait until at least 3pm before I eat it - that is the time that I have said is snack time otherwise it would be eaten by 9am every day and then I would have nothing to look forward to !!!!

We have a busy weekend planned - tomorrow we have yoga from 8-9am, then drop K at work on the way home, get home and walk to pick up our numbers for the 5km walk on Sunday morning and take the dogs for a walk at the same time. Have to be home by 10am as I have an appointment from 11-12. Then dash home again for a client at 12.30pm and another at 2pm. After that I think we may shoot off to see about getting some road bikes - am not keen on doing long distances on the mountain bikes without slicks on - but it will depend on what else needs to be done. Then home in time to have dinner and get to Coles by 6pm. On Sunday the race starts at 7am - at least we will have collected our numbers and timing card the day before which means that we can go straight to the start on Sunday morning. K is working at 9am so will have to get home quickly after the race so she can shower and get to work on time. The last race we did in 44mins and some secs so will be interesting to see if we are fitter and can do it quicker this time around. Al and I are going down to Currumbin Creek Road to do a cycle up a road that is apparently a long incline - to help with our fitness levels and stamina for hills. Think that might take a couple of hours (also good to have to sit on the bicycle seat for longer than the hour or so that we normally cycle for) and then it will be home time to shower before going up to Brisbane to see if we can drive the route of the 50km race that we are doing on 27th June. We want to try to have cycled it at least once before the big day so it may have to be next weekend as we don't want to do it too close to the actual day - the weekend after we are off to Melbourne and Adelaide - YAY !!!! Once we get home from Brisbane we have been invited to a BBQ at Paradise Point for one of our nephew's birthday - Al has taken out some steak for the BBQ but K and I are going to heat our meals up and then wrapped them up and take them with us. Much as I love my nephew, I don't want to have a night of eating food that is not what I want and likely to break my focus on the weight loss side of things. I do know that once I am at goal, the trick is going to be intergrating ordinary eating back into our lifestyle and still be able to maintain the weight. I think it will be so much easier this time around because we are all watching what we eat and so when one overdoes things the others are more likely to say hey, do you really need that extra helping of dessert ?????

I am officially a granny - I am sitting in the loungeroom - blogging and watching TV with my bifocal glasses on - what a pleasure to be able to work on the computer and then glance up and be able to see the game on TV !!!!! While the operation was a success, I do miss the close vision that I used to have BUT I don't miss having to wear glasses or contacts 24/7. It is great to be able to see the time on the clock next to the bed, and dry my hair without having to have my glasses on, and eat without glasses on and be able to see what I am eating ! So many positive except for the fact that I can't read and watch TV or knit a pattern and watch TV because my glasses were for distance only. Now with the bifocals, I can do both - YAY !!!!!!!

Have a great weekend everyone - take care and Jod, go safely on the bike ride.


TFTD : It is easier to drift than it is to climb.

Another weigh-in tomorrow

Thursday seems to come around quite quickly lately - more than once a week I am sure !!!! This is our weigh-in day and while I did have a small Lindt easter bunny and two hot cross buns for breakfast on Sunday, we also did heaps of cycling and walking to burn off those extra calories. I am curious to see whether or not it worked.

I have been doing really well making my 10,000 steps per day although last night I had to run on the spot for 250 steps to reach my goal but I just knew I couldn't go to bed knowing that I had got so close and didn't manage to make it.

A is looking at us doing a 50km cycle in June - Brisbane to the Bay - you cycle from Southbank to Wynnum and back. Would like to drive the course before we enter but early bird discount entrance fee happens if you register before Friday so will have to weigh up the difference between having to pay extra for each of the three of us or maybe entering a race only to find it is full of hills after we have paid. At least with it being in June we do have a bit of time to get some more hill work in - we have been doing some hill work in preparation for the Brisbane to Gold Coast cycle in October but we haven't done anything serious.

My legs were tired tonight when we cycled - I think that tomorrow night I will give them a break and go shopping with K. No matter how many times I tell her Melbourne is the shopping capital of Australia, she insists on buying clothes to take down with her !!!! Will see what she finds tomorrow night.

I am off to have some dinner, do some washing and then hopefully have a great night's sleep = I have been sleeping so badly lately and it is really annoying. Normally when I exercise I sleep so well but not lately - the more I exercise the more it seems to keep me awake.

Take care and have a great day !

TFTD : Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow"

A holi-holi-holiday !

The good news is that A got the all clear on the lump that was removed - so huge relief over that. Now it is a case of waiting to see if the cut heals or whether he will need a skin graft.

We have had a good few days - lots of exercise - walking and cycling and food has been pretty good except for Thursday at work when I had four little solid easter eggs - I really enjoyed them but I don't think that counts for anything ! I need to be more focused on what I am putting into my mouth. We each have one Lindt easter bunny for Sunday - can't make up my mind whether to just eat it all in one sitting and be done with it or spread it over a period of time. Will see how I feel on Sunday. While we are enjoying the exercise, it really is to help counter-act the effects of the chocolate !!!!!

I landed up working at Coles last night - not my first choice of how to spend the evening but it helps with the money seeing as I only worked 3 days this week.

Tomorrow we have hired a high pressure cleaner to clean the outside tiles - Easter is our annual clean up weekend and I love when we are finished and the tiles are all nice and clean again - it is amazing how dirty they get from one year to the next.

We don't have much else planned - K is working tomorrow. We want to do some longish cycles and lots of walks. I have managed every day, except Monday,to have over 10,000 steps so am really pleased with my efforts in that department.

Sorry this is a little dis-jointed, I am half listening to the TV, half listening to A & K talking and thinking I should go and join them rather than be on the computer.

Will come back another time this weekend and post again !

Have a great Easter break - take care and go safely.

TFTD : Whoever is happy will make others happy too.

A rest day

I really need to try to keep a positive attitude about my job - it is not easy ! In March last year I got a 4 month contract with the local council - 12 months later I am still there - not from choice but because there are so few other jobs out there. I have applied for I don't know how many, have received a couple of 'thanks but not thanks' letters, have had one interview and came 'a close second' to their final choice candidate, and have not heard back from more than I have heard back from. While I understand this can be a time consuming task for private companies, when employment agents don't even get back to me I get REALLY annoyed. Isn't that what their job is - to find people and at least reply to people who send in their CV's for a role. My current job is so up to date I could walk out of there tomorrow and be satisfied that nobody was going to walk into a mess at all - given the state of the role when I first arrived there, that is no mean feat. I am trying so hard to stay positive that my dream role is out there but every day that I continue to have to deal with burocratic cr*p, it gets harder and harder. I am not used to working in an environment that is so stuck in the past that they will not even CONSIDER changing a process to something that is more beneficial. Honestly, I need to change the whole way I think to work here and I am worried that I am going to lose the ability to work in commerce if I stay here too long. I just KNOW that my dream role is out there and I HAVE to stay positive so that it comes my way but my patience is starting to run thin.

This is certainly not helping my healthy way of eating because all I want to do each day is attack the vending maching - to help make my day better. There is a part of me that KNOWS that eating chocolate will not make my job any different but there is also a part of me that wants the comfort of chocolate to get through the day. I am bored with what I am doing and the only way I know to get around this is to eat chocolate. The good thing is that so far I have managed to curb these wants and occasionally have one of those little mini chocolates - that is better than nothing at all.

Today I have not reached my 10,000 steps but my goal is to reach 10,000 5 days a week - I know that Monday is not a good day for us to exercise much. After work we can do a little bit of something before it is time to go to yoga. Today we picked up the bikes from getting serviced - it was like getting a new bike again !!! - and then cycled for about 40-45mins before screaming home to change and get to yoga. While 5,500 steps is not a fantastic effort, along with the ride and yoga I am happy that I have made the best effort I could with the time I had available.

Tomorrow morning I am taking A to get a skin cancer cut out of his leg. I am really annoyed about this because 4yrs ago when he first had this sore on his leg that wouldn't heal I asked him to go and get it checked out but he didn't until last week and now it is an invasive type of cancer and there is a lump which has already formed under the skin. The problem now is that because they have to cut it out and it is on the front of his shin, there isn't much excess skin to be able to pull together to stitch up so there is a good possibility that he will have to have a skin graft - all because he didn't go and get it checked out when I said - or on any other occasion between then and now when he has been to the doctor about any other problem !!! Men - sometimes you have to just wonder why they don't listen ?????

Other that that - today has been a good day. Managed to fight off the sugar cravings with a little crunchie and some sugar free chewing gum (something that I never eat but thought it would be better than the big chocolate that I really wanted !!!).

TFTD : One of the best ways to realise that age is an illusion is to have your body get older and realise that you are who you have always been.

Another Sunday gone !

We had a great day today. K had to go to work and we needed a prescription filled at the chemist so cycled into Southport to the Discount Pharmacy there. All up probably about an hours cycle there and back except we didn't come home, we dropped our bikes off at the bicycle shop to get serviced and walked home (about 3,100 steps). A has a thought that we should do the Wilson Brisbane to Gold Coast cycle in October - I am not so sure about this but he has turned into a fitness fanatic and is very keen on the idea !!!! We will have to do a lot more hill and stamina work before we can even consider this but it is something we can work towards in the meantime (maybe we could do it next year ??????) Can I make him wait that long ? Can he wait that long ?

Anyway, got home and had our morning snack - they have a really yummy Greek yoghurt - it is just the best although unfortunately, it is never enough - the little punnet they send has to be eaten with a teaspoon otherwise it is finished in about three dessert spoons !!!

Then we took the puppies - oh yes, Happy 1st Birthday Alfie - so I think he is officially a dog and not a puppy anymore - for a walk to Paradise Point. Got back from there with just over 11,000 steps completed. Had lunch and a shower and then went to look for a birthday present for a friend, came home and did the last load of washing before watching a tape of Gray's from last week.

It's amazing how our bodies change and tell us what they want - yes I know sometimes mine is screaming "Give me chocolate, give me biscuits" - but I am talking about once you start to exercise how those endorphins kick it and just make you want to exercise even more. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would, on a Saturday night when A is working and K is baby-sitting, go out walking because I haven't done enough steps for the day. Normally it would be - kick back on the beanbag, with something to drink and nibble on and there I would stay until someone came home and interrupted me !!!!!! I just love that my body so wants to do all this exercise that it is no longer a chore but rather something that I want to do because I can see the benefits of doing it. My clothes are fitting me better - my wardrobe is growing by the week as I get into clothes that I haven't worn since I don't know when - it is sooooooooo cool ! (to borrow an overused word from K !)

I will finish the day with over 13,000 steps (am I allowed to carry those over to tomorrow night because that is going to be the one day of the week when I will battle to hit 10,000 steps ???) but seeing as my goal is to have 10,000 for at least 5 of the 7 days of the week, I'll be OK and won't beat myself up because I am not making 7/7 days - sometimes other things just have to be done. Monday night is yoga night and one of my favourite nights of the week because generally after yoga, I sleep soooooooooo well !!!!

Have a great week everyone - take care and go safely !

TFTD : Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body - Cicero

Back and blogging again !

I feel that it has come time for me to start blogging again - to keep the motivation that I have going and to be able to document what I am doing right (and what I am doing not that well) so that I can track how I am going and where I can make things better.

As we all have in the past, my weight got out of control - I kept on saying "When I get to xxkg, I will do something about it" and that number just kept on going up and up and up until I got the point where even my fat clothes were getting too tight for me. We were not in a position for me to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe so something else had to happen.

Dear A saw the light and realised that we were both grossly overweight and got interested in losing weight - the first time in the 24years that we have been together. Needless to say I jumped at the chance and we embarked on Lite 'n Easy which as you may, or may not know, is not a cheap program to do. Yes, I probably could have gone back to WW but at that point in time, being so time poor, I just knew that it was not an option. So we joined - all three of us - and it is probably one of the best decisions we have made.

It is so much easier when we are all watching what we are eating and asking "How many calories is in that ?" "What ? How many did you say ?" - when it is something we probably would have eaten more than one of in a sitting before this journey !!! It has brought A's blood pressure down into a normal range and he is off for a cholestrol test next week to see how that is faring - I so hope that it is down - just another good reason for him to watch what he is eating !

Although we get the food already prepared, there are still times when it is difficult but the amount of time that it has freed up for us is mind boggling - hence the ability to do all the exercise that we have been doing. A has turned into a fitness fanatic and, while I am not as bad as him, I certainly am so much more motivated to exercise than I have been for a long time. I think the last time I was this motivated to exercise - and it was mainly walking - was when I was unemployed before I got this contract at the Council.

Anyway, I am going to try to blog regularly because it helps me to put down on paper (screen ?) how things have been during the day and then be able to read back afterwards and see - oh yes, lots happening then - not such good losses or, this is what worked previously maybe I need to try it again.

Like before, this is not going to be an earth shattering blog - just my journey to getting fit and into a healthy weight range !

Take care and go safely !

TFTD : Never give up your quest to find true love - starting with loving yourself.

An update before the next operation

I can't believe that the last time I posted was the day after the operation. Unfortunately the excellent vision that I had on the day after the operation has deteriorated - still 100 times better than I was before the operation but not as good as it was on the day after. Surgeon said that this sometimes does happen. He is disappointed with how my eye accepted the lens - from a health point of view my eye is in excellent condition but according to the measurements / machine reading etc - it should have come out at -.5 but it actually came out at -1.5. Not bad - but not as good as he wanted. Now the trick with the right eye is guessing whether it will behave the same way. He is aiming to get as close to 0 as possible which will mean that I will have good reading vision in my left eye and good distance vision in my right eye and my brain should be able to work them together so that I have good all round vision.

I was talking to my folks today and my Dad was worried that he had talked me into the operations - I said that he mustn't worry because I have never thought "Geez - this was a mistake" because at the moment, I am still better off than I was before the op. I think that maybe they didn't notice how long it took for their eyes to settle down because they aren't working in an office on a computer and with paperwork all day long - that is where it gets tricky because my left eye focuses at about 80cm and my right eye at 40-50cm and my brain isn't adjusting very well !!!! I know I just need to BE PATIENT but it is not a quality that I possess in any great volume !!

This time I am going to take the time suggested off work because I have realised that going back to work a week earlier than they suggest is not the smartest thing I ever did !!! And maybe that has hindered the recovery of my eye - will see how the right eye behaves next week. A has decided to take the whole week off with me so that will be good - I will even have my own driver !!!! It is Gold Coast show day the day after the op so he doesn't have to take any time off to drive me to the surgeon that day.

Once this eye is done I am going to turn my focus onto the real issue - our health - losing weight and getting fit and healthy. A friend of ours - not much older than A - and a lot fitter and slimmer - had a stroke about 6 weeks ago. We went to see him on the way up the Sunshine Coast on Friday and he was better and worse than I expected - he was better in that he recognised us straight away, carried out conversations and asked about K, spoke about people he and A had worked with in SA and worse in how much weight he had lost and to see how little control he had over his right leg - left side paralysed - so sad. We are going to see how things are on Sunday and take his wife out to lunch and then spend some time with him as he has been moved from Brisbane to Redcliffe (I think that is where he is now). That was a real wake up call for me and for A and at the back of my head, I keep thinking of G and realising that unless I do something to change how unhealthy I am - I could land up like him.

I guess I really have to get focussed - think about what I want to achieve and then work out a plan on how I am going to achieve it. It shouldn't be hard - I have done it so many times - I have to find what is going to work to get me motivated to do what I know I need to do - do what I have done so many times before - do what needs to be done to get me healthy and fit. Who has some motivation they can bottle up and send to me ? Or a seed that I can plant and grow some of my own ? I really don't mind sharing once I have it - I just need to somehow find a way to get it. I need a light bulb moment of ginormous size !

K's formal is in 3 weeks time and I am embarrassed to have to go at the weight that I am - those pictures are going to be around forever and I will be in them - like a whale - feeling awful about myself - not only am I obesely overweight but I can't even wear any make-up because I can't touch my eye that would have been operated on only 2 weeks prior ! The poor child - probably won't want any photos with me in them - and I can't say that I blame her.

We have started walking in the evenings as I am once again doing letter box drops for the business. While I am not happy working at council - it has certainly been good for business - the referral system around there is fantastic - not enough to let me pack in my day job (or even our night jobs) but certainly enough to keep the coffers ticking over - and for that I will always be grateful for the opportunity to work at council. Other than that I will probably leave there bald because everyday there is someone else who does something totally unbelievable - a decision that is made that is just beyond belief - and at times like these I feel like pulling another few hairs out - just now it will all be gone !!!

I will try to be back more frequently to post - and to get some inspiration as I, once again, try to get rid of these pesky kilos that seem to just sneak up without me knowing about them until one day BAM there they are and they don't want to be shifted !!! If only the BAM would work in shifting kilos the way they say it shifts grime and grease !

TFTD - Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.