I am starting with the TFTD today because it is so relevant for me at the moment.
"You may have a fresh start any time you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down" Mary Pickford
Having lost 18.5kgs, I am feeling successful in my weight loss endeavours but I am also finding that it is easier to eat those things that are not assisting me in losing the next 12-15kgs that I want to lose to get to the weight that I want to be. Initially, it was so much easier to just say no to the things that weren't helping me get to where I want to be but now it is harder. I feel more like I am entitled to have a life without total deprivation, but am I if I can't control it ????????
Yesterday is a good example - we got up early and had our breakfast before going to the race. Got home and walked the dogs down to the park at the Broadwater to run and fetch the ball. Came home and showered and off to Robina to do some shopping. At 11.30 K said "I know it is early for lunch but I am starving." I suggest sushi or Subway. A suggests Grill'd. Off we go to Grill'd because the weather is a bit cold and we want something warm. That is fine - I have a grilled chicken burger and a couple of chips (OK more than a couple because I felt like cr*p about 30 mins later because I had eaten said chips !!!!). I didn't eat the whole roll and left some of the salad stuff out as well because there was just too much. Had a Coke Zero - so far, not too bad. Then we walk past Darryl Lea - liquorice - 98% fat free (never mind all the sugar !!!) so we buy a packet. After a couple of hours it is time to go to the movies - we have booked to see Robin Hood using the Gold Lounge tickets that Al got for his birthday. We get there and get a drink - only diet drink is Pepsi Max (which I hate) so I have Solo. Strike 1. Then the movie starts and they bring us each a box of popcorn. I have about 1/5 box and realise I am just eating it because it is there so stop but really, that is Strike 2 ! Prior to going into the movies we ordered spring rolls and chips at 4.30 and then sticky date pudding with ice-cream at 5.30 - these come and I happily partake of them 'because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity - we aren't going to pay $35 each for movie tickets no matter how comfy the chairs and why should I deprive myself' - Strike 3 and, if I was playing baseball or softball, I would be out.
Am I getting too complacent with my loss to date ? Or, is life for living and it can't be all about denying the nicer things in life ? Or, it is about being able to do it all in moderation ? I think it is a bit of the first and last question - I AM getting complacent with my loss to date - my clothes are fitting better, people are commenting on how much weight I have lost and I am feeling good about myself. Will I feel better in another 12-15kgs time - for sure I will. Will I be able to lose that next 12-15kgs - not so certain. Can I have a bit of those extra things without going overboard - I have ALWAYS been an all or nothing kind of person. I am either totally committed or can't be bothered - there is very little that is middle of the road for me and I need to find the balance between being totally obsessed with my weight and living a life that is enjoyable and worth living. Just how I am going to do this I don't know. What I do know is that my TFTD today is one that I am going to keep with me to remind me that I am NOT a failure until I stop picking myself up and trying again.
Have a great week everyone and take care !
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